Loved Back to Life
by Daydreamer123
Summary: An accident brings two strangers into each other's lives. From that day and with time, their worlds seem to pull them to one another through their troubles and heartache, spending time together they heal eachother. This will be a slow build up of friendship between Rick and Beth and could possibly turn to something more. People fall in love in mysterious ways?
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:** This is my first fanfiction. Please be kind and review. I fell in love with the show the first episode. I've fallen in love with the Beth and Rick fics here. I love all the writers who have brought their amazing stories to us, I get lost in them. I only hope that they and more others share their stories and this is my first contribution, I hope you follow and review. Apologies in advance for any spelling and grammatical errors.

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own the Walking Dead or its characters

**WARNINGS:** Car accident scene/possible death

This will be a slow build up of friendship could possibly turn to something more... I already have two endings, depending on the response, I will see which ending to go with.

Anything in _Italics are __thoughts_

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><p><strong><span><strong>Loved Back to Life <strong>**

**Chapter 1**

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><p>Turning into the road, all Rick can see is the flashing of blue and amber lights illuminating the sky from the emergency service vehicles blocking the road. Taking a deep breathe at the scene ahead, Rick pulls up next to Shane's patrol car and switches off the engine. There's silence in the car and he takes a moment and looks at the photo of his wife and son that lives under the visor. He climbs out of the car grabbing his hat and places it on his head, the panic and noises of the chaos now surround his ears.<p>

His eyes sweep the area. He can see two sets of tyre tracks on the road, one of which seems to belong to a bike and the other a bigger vehicle, both vehicles looking to have swerved trying to get out of each other's way. Eyes following the skid marks towards the large tree off the bend, Rick sees a silver truck rammed up against it. A couple of yards away from the tree laid a bike completely smashed with shattered glass everywhere. Looking at the bike, his stomach lurches. Whoever was on that bike couldn't have survived. A crash similar on this same road flashed through his mind, the driver of the Harley died a slow and painful death. The carnage before him gave him the same stomach turning feelings of that devastating day.

Spotting the group of officers hovering over someone, Rick makes his way over seeing Shane kneeling down. He sees a teenage boy sitting on the floor being checked over by an EMT. Walking closer, he stops, his eyes squint recognising the teenager and the worry lines appear on his forehead, his hands move to rub his face as if to wipe away the worry and exhaustion. It was Kenny Spencer. Rick could only assume that this was an accident, he didn't suspect Kenny of reckless driving or driving under the influence. Kenny was a prankster but he was a good kid. His dad was a recovering alcoholic. Rick remembered the troubles the family had gone through. He had many times been called to a bar or their home to deal with Henry Spencer's drunken outbursts. Henry had become physically violent towards his wife and she ended up in the emergency room with a broken wrist and black eye. Rick decided to help the family by all the means he could, he convinced Henry to go into a rehabilitation programme and family counselling. He was going to give Kenny the benefit out the doubt. The blindside at the bend was what he suspected was the cause of the crash, he would need to file a report and make a case with the town hall again to deal with this problem. He cursed himself for not being more aggressive in his argument as today may have had a different outcome.

Rick notes the firemen had to cut the door off to get Kenny out, he had blood on his face which looked to be from a cut on his forehead, the medic was attending to the wound and Shane was asking him questions but Kenny was just stuttering, he was clearly in shock, he had escaped death.

Rick looks up at the truck and he feels like the wind has been knocked out of him. There, on the hood of the truck, laid the top half of a man. Rick breaks out in a cold sweat, he can see that the man's bottom half is sandwiched between the vehicle and the tree. He closes his eyes trying to collect himself, seconds later he feels a hand on his shoulder. Opening his eyes he sees Shane looking at him.

"Twenty-five year old male, name's Zack, knocked off his bike and slammed into the tree." Shane looks to Rick "Kenny was behind the wheel of the truck, says it happened fast and didn't see the bike in the turnin'. He hasn't been breathalysed yet, was waitin' for you,"

Shane can see the look of guilt in Rick's eyes. "Hey man, this weren't your fault, I know how much you fought to do somethin' about this road, damn morons on that council just don't give a shit! Stop beating yourself up!" Rick nods his head.

"But it's bad man, the medic says he's not gonna make it, too much damage's been done, lost too much blood and he can't be moved, it's only a matter of time."

Shane just looks to the ground shaking his head. Rick closes his eyes and nods in understanding but then focuses on the man again.

"Has anyone notified his family? they need to get here asap" Rick asks finally looking Shane in the eyes.

Shane clears his throat "Yeah, Alby has been sent to get the fiancée, they just moved into town, she'll be here soon".

Rick lost in thought, _a fiancée_, this is one part of his job he hates, delivering bad news. Shane did good to send Deputy Alby, he's a kind-hearted man and knew what to say and do in these circumstances having more years' experience under his belt than most of them in their team.

"You want me to call up Lori and tell her you were called back to work, I can smooth things out for ya?" Shane asks.

Rick slightly irritated dismisses Shane, he didn't need Shane to give him advice or smooth things out for him, he loved Shane like a brother but sometimes Shane poked his big nose into Rick and Lori's marriage more often than not. He'd become a third wheel.

"No, I've already spoken to Lori, she's not happy but she knows that I'm needed here, Chief's out of town and I'm on call. Let's just focus on the job, when the fiancée is here, let me know".

Shane nods and walks to his car. Rick walks over to the medic and fireman in charge to get statements and accounts of the accident before going to speak to the injured man.

"Zack, I'm Deputy Rick Grimes but please call me Rick." Rick crouches down facing the man.**  
><span>**

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><p>This will be a slow build up of friendship could possibly turn to something more... I already have two endings, depending on the response, I will see which ending to go with.<p>

Reviews are always welcome but please be kind...


	2. Chapter 2

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:** The opening scene is taken from the movie Signs and adapted. I pictured Rick being called to an incident like this. Apologies in advance for any spelling and grammatical errors.

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own the Walking Dead or its characters

**WARNINGS:** Car Accident Death

* * *

><p><strong><span>Loved Back to Life<span>**

**Chapter 2**

* * *

><p>"Zack, I'm Deputy Rick Grimes but please call me Rick." Rick crouches down facing the man.<p>

"Hey Rick" Zack manages and attempts to smile.

Rick returns the gesture, he's at a loss for words looks at Zack, "_how do I tell him that these are gonna be his last breaths and in a few moments he's gonna die?"_

Zack studies Rick's face "be honest, it's not good is it, I'm not gonna get out of this alive am I?"

Rick takes off his hat and sadly shakes his head no.

"No, I'm afraid it's not good, the car has you pinned down in such away and is supporting your body-" Rick trails off trying to find the right words, there isn't any. Zack reaches out and places his hand on Rick's shoulder.

"I'm a second year med student, I dealt with car accidents comin' into the emergency room all the time. I lost count how many traumas I'd seen, you never know what to expect when the rigs pull up but when the patients lay in front of you, sometimes you just know that their times up." letting out a heavy breath he continues, "I can't feel much now below my waist, the blood circulation is slowly cuttin' off."

Rick looks at Zack's broken body, the lines appear on his forehead again, this time more prominently, there's nothing he can do and catches Zack watching him.

"I'm ok, really, we all gotta go one day right? I had a good run" he jokes.

The look of fear and sadness doesn't escape Rick's focused eyes, he can see past the smokescreen put up by the young man, he gives him a look to say "_you don't need to put up a front, speak what's on your mind"_.

Knowing he's been caught out, Zack lets out a deep long breath feeling exhausted. He finally feels like he can let his guard down, the other officers made him feel suffocated, he was holding in his breath, their stares, they looked at him feeling sorry for him, he didn't need that whereas Rick, he was shaken seeing him at first sight, he didn't blame him or any of the others but Rick had a certain something about him. He was a stranger, yet he felt like he could confess anything to him. Rick looked him straight in the eyes and did what the others didn't, be honest, made him feel calm and not alone, he didn't give him false hope that he was going to make it out like the others had, honesty - that's what he needed, he knew he was dying, he didn't need anyone to tell him otherwise. Rick wasn't in any rush to run away from him, he moves closer making himself more comfortable to talk to him, stay with him until the end. Zack closes his eyes and unburdens himself on Rick..

"I'm just not ok about leavin' her," he gulps "I was selfish, I took her away from everyone that loves her, was a part of her life and now I'm leaving her alone, she trusted me to take care of her, to grow old together."

_Her?_ Rick thought and remembers Zack's fiancée. Rick's head spins round looking for any sign of Shane and the fiancée. The sound of a painful moan gets Rick's attention, he grabs hold of Zack's hand covered in blood, hoping any strength he had, he could just pass it through to Zack, just for a bit longer.

"I would've liked to have seen her one last time, see her smile, see her face before I closed my eyes, tell her how sorry I am and that I love her." Zack finally allows himself to cry, Rick grips his hand tighter.

"What's her name?" Rick asks softly

Zack takes a while to clear his throat and smiles "Miss Elizabeth Greene. Beth, my southern belle beauty."

Rick watches Zack lost in his thoughts, the smile not leaving his face

"How did you meet?" Rick asks

"She came to the hospital one day to meet her brother for lunch and when I saw her, I just followed her around, didn't know who she was, I fell in love the moment I saw her." Zack recalls.

"Everyone warned me not to go there, she was off limits that only got me more interested. I found out who she was when I was being assessed by one of the doctors. Beth is none other than Dr Shawn Greene's baby sister. Of all people's sister, she had to be his I fell for. He's incredibly annoying and over protective!"

"You were either brave to go after the boss's sister or incredibly dumb! She must be an amazin' girl for you to go runnin' after her?" Rick laughs remembering Shane had gone after the Sheriff's youngest daughter when they both joined the academy, it ended before it could ever start. The Sheriff made an example out of Shane, a reminder to anyone who would look at his little girl. Shane was used as the demonstrations dummy in defense training, it was high impact and no padding, the bruises were a reminder that his daughter was off limits. Shane got the message, he never went after the Sheriff's daughter after that.

Zack sees Rick's face animated for the first time, it felt good to laugh, he asks what was amusing and Rick tells him about Shane and Zack is laughing which ends in coughing, some blood comes out and Rick grabs his handkerchief and wipes away the blood and saliva.

"I was lucky, Beth is amazing, I never deserved her, I'm grateful to have met her and spent the last part of my life with her. She taught me a lot about this world, about me, things I never really knew or appreciated. She's into angels and soul mates, fate, I started believing too but guess I was never hers." there's sadness in Zack's voice. "I hope she finds her soul mate, falls in love, gets married and has babies, they live a long happy life together. I need to tell her it's ok to move on."

Rick thinks about himself and Lori. The first years were good, the honeymoon period and then Carl came along quickly after marriage and things got manic. Married life became a roller-coaster ride, more downs than ups, expectations changing, responsibilities and burdens increasing, sacrifices made and now he and Lori were never on the same page anymore, the light in their marriage was slowing burning low "_we gotta stick together" _and here young love just blossoming coming to an end. "_Soul mates - do they exist? are we supposed to be miserable?_" how unfair life and love have become.

Silence follows as both reflect back on their pasts. Time seemed to stop for a moment and then everything was going in full speed, Zack was beginning to deteriorate, he's face now paler "Beth!" he whispers, Rick knew that type of whisper, death approaching, he remembers the same whispers from his parents calling each other's names, his name, life slipping away, like the sand in an hourglass, time was running out.

_"Beth isn't here yet, she needs to say goodbye, he needs to say goodbye to her and be at peace"_

Rick's own breathing becomes wild, an internal panic sets in

"No Zack, stay with me, medic, help! I need help!" Rick shouts

"Zack, buddy hold on, you just gotta hold on, Beth will be here, you wanted to see her, her smile, you gotta hold in there… for Beth-"

"I feel no pain anymore, he's calling me, he's telling me everything's gonna be ok Rick, your here, take care of Beth, she'll take care of you!"

Rick jumps closer to Zack and taps his face trying to make him open his eyes, he holds his other hand "I'm right here Zack, Beth is on her way, open your eyes for me!"

The medics rush over and push Rick out of the way while they get to work, the booming sound of the approaching siren abruptly gets his attention. He wipes his hands on his trousers, not wanting to leave but before he knows it, he's rushing towards the car _"please god, let this be her!"_

Before his long strides get to a couple of steps, the car door flies open and a young petite woman with long blonde hair tied up in a ponytail jumps out before one of the Deputies can make it over to help her out. Panic was written all over her face, she frantically looks around and sees Rick and rushes towards him. Rick closes the distance between them can identify Beth as being the fiancée Zack described, pretty soft features, piercing baby blue eyes wearing a plaid shirt, fitted jeans and cowboy boots, her soft southern voice getting his attention.

"Officer where's Zack? is he ok? they said he was involved in an accident, he.."

Deputy Alby is running after Beth and stops when Rick puts a hand out to him. The deputy nods understanding but he gives Rick a look to confirm he couldn't tell her the extent of the accident, only that Zack was involved in one.

Beth stops speaking when she sees the wreckage of the bike she was too familiar with, her eyes wide in shock, Rick follows her gaze towards the smashed up bike, somehow it looked worse, like scraps. They both then look to each other, the excruciating pain on her face tugs at his heart, her eyes water, her mouth starts to tremble

"Where's Zack…where is he?" she whispers, he barely hears her but he does.

Seeing a lot of commotion up by the tree, she takes a quick look at Rick trying to figure out what he's not telling her. He's walking slowly towards her holding his arms out to calm down. He had a concerned look on his face. He didn't want to upset her, she was glued to watching him getting closer, his movements ever so slow. She hears the medic's shouts, thinking Rick's attention would be diverted, she starts to sprint towards the truck. Rick focusing on nobody but her acts quick and catches her in his arms, she struggles but he gets a hold of her tightly and she gives up as he holds her against him speaking calm and soothing to her.

"Beth, Zack was involved in a vehicle collision, he's awake and speaking but he is very weak, the medics are doing all they can with making him comfortable, they've given him medicine, he's not in much pain now, he-" this was harder than anyone could imagine, he hated himself for having to do this, what he was going to say was going to shatter her, her life is going to change forever once he says the next sentence.. "The car has Zack pinned in such a way it's holdin' his body up in place keepin' him alive, once the car is removed, there's nothin' the medics can do, the car for now holdin' him is allowin' him a few moments to stay awake. I'm so sorry Beth, I - "

Beth's body stiffens and then goes limp finally breaking down in tears. Rick will never forget the sound of her cries, they will forever be embedded in his mind, she was in so much pain right now and he pulls her back into his arms holding her securely. Knowing Zack doesn't have much time left, he whispers down into her ears,

"He wants to see you one last time, you feel strong enough to make it over to him?" Beth shakes her head trying to control her breathing, her whimpering doesn't stop, her emotions have taken over.

"I'll be right here with you?" taking greedy gulps of air, she can feel her heart beat racing but the steady feeling of Rick's heart beating against her back calms her, her heart beats begins to match his rhythm, saying nothing she starts moving, her feet don't seem to work properly, they feel like jelly, she nearly loses her footing, Rick helps holding her hand in his and his other around her shoulder, they walk slowly towards Zack. All Beth can hear is her heart's loud thumping, _thump, thump, thump_, her throat suddenly dry swallowing hard, the noise travels to Rick's ears, his eyes shift down to look at her, then back towards the truck, he can feel her whole body shaking he pulls her closer to him for support and grips her shoulder to reassure her, she's not alone.

A woman comes running after Beth calling out to her but is abruptly stopped by Shane

"Miss, stay behind the tape! this here is an accident scene" Shane huffs.

"Like I said to that guy over there, that's my friend and her fiancé, you gotta let me through, she needs me!" She attempts to get past but Shane blocks her path with his huge frame.

"Like I said sweetheart! can't let you through, you need to stay over there and let us do our jobs" Shane points towards the crowd of people gathered behind the tape. Young Deputy Leon Basset comes rushing over and Shane glares at him annoyed and leans into him a bit too close for comfort

"Leon take this chick and make sure she stays out the way, is that too much to ask?"

"S..sorry Shane, she got past me.." a terrified Leon replies.

Shane dismisses Leon "whatever, just move her along."

Leon turns round and sees the woman's face has turned red, he awkwardly reaches out to show her to follow but hesitates, he's never been good with women and this one looks like she might just bite his hand off.

She stares daggers at the back of Shane's head whose walking away, she pushes past Leon and jumps in front of Shane and nudges him hard in the chest.

"You son of a bitch! that's my best friend and her fiancé over there," she pushes him again "I'm not some bystander!"

Shane narrows his eyes to her now completely irritated

"Listen here Missy, what your friends need now is for you ta stay back, let them say their goodbyes, you wanna crowd over them waste what time they've left, fine..." Shane steps aside gesturing for her to go "go on over, interrupt them!"

The woman feels humiliated and pissed off that this cop is being so rude and insensitive towards her, _"you jerk!" _he could've been kinder, she was upset and only wanted to be there for both her friends, she crosses her arms across her chest. A minute had passed of both staring at each other neither breaking eye contact. Shane now clearly bored and fed up ends their standoff leans forward

"Don't make a scene, let them be, go stand behind that tape" Shane points into the distance, shakes his head and leaves.

The woman boiling at this point let's her hands drop to her side clenching and unclenching letting out a low growl, finally turning round making her way towards the tape, not because the jackass told her to but because she was able to calm down and think, Beth and Zach needed to be alone, she would rush to Beth when she saw the time was right, she didn't care about the stupid cop and his stupid tape, she would thump him or kick him where the sun don't shine if he tried to stop her again. Deputy Basset relieved follows and stands looking into the crowd taking guard.

Rick and Beth had reached Zach who's clearly tired and fighting to keep his eyes open. Rick gently manoeuvres Beth beside Zach letting go of her shoulder, he goes to release her hand but feels a pull. He realises that Beth's still holding his hand tight not letting go. He looks at their clasped hands and gives a gentle squeeze making Beth look to him, she shakes her head not knowing what to do, he goes to move her hand to place on Zack's but her gaze doesn't move from his, she looks terrified, he doesn't break the contact, the silent tears runs down her face and his free hand reaches up towards her face ready to wipe the tears away

"Beth?" Zach whispers

Both hearing Zack's voice, break eye contact, Beth releases Rick's hand and uses her sleeve to wipe her face away of any signs of tears. She finally finds her voice and gently answers Zack

"Yeah Zach, it's me"

Zach tries to turn towards her and a low moan escapes his lips.

"Don't try to move, I'm right here" Beth rushes closer and lays on the hood next to Zach both their faces centimeters apart, she begins to gently stroke his face and he sighs at the contact his body so badly needed, her gentle touch.

"I'm sorry baby, you said one of these days I was gonna get myself killed on that bike"

"shushhhh, don't think about that"

She places her lips on his, they continue to talk gently and quietly to each other and allow themselves to cry together. Zach whispers something to Beth and she just cries, he pleads with her and she nods to him. Zach content buries his face into her neck and gives her one last kiss. Rick nearby takes a few steps back watching them, swallowing hard holding back his own emotions, slowly turns around leaving them alone giving them the privacy that they needed in their final goodbye.


	3. Chapter 3

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:** Thanks guys for your comments, your opinions really mean a lot to me, I really appreciate them :)

Apologies in advance for any spelling and grammatical errors.

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own the Walking Dead or its characters

**WARNINGS:** Rick's Heartache

Anything in _Italics are thoughts_

* * *

><p><span><strong>Loved Back to Life<strong>

**Chapter 3**

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><p>The moon is up full, big and bright. The stars congregating and reflecting into the lake as they drive by. Everything looks natural, how nature is meant to be, undisturbed, no skyscrapers or jam packed roads ahead, just a long road of greenery whizzing by. It's peaceful and silent, only the sounds of the low humming engine and every so often the sound of the gears changing can be heard. A welcoming breeze comes through the open windows kissing bare skin.<p>

Rick concentrating on the road looks into his rear-view mirror and glances at Beth every so often. Beth hasn't moved since she was helped into the car. Her face pressed to the side just able to peek out the window. She hasn't said a word or cried since, just staring into space. The lake stretches a distance, everything above mirroring down.

One star twinkles brighter than the rest as if trying to seek attention. Beth sees the reflection and looks up at the sky, a lone tear zig zags down her cheek and a ghost of a smile appears, it's one of those smiles you get when you become lost in thought of a past memory, Zach was always trying to get her attention, even when he's gone he was making himself known to the world _"It's gotta be Zach"_ she thought.

Rick looks out the window up at the star that's shining and then back at the road ahead. Zach had mentioned Beth believing in angels and he briefly wonders if Beth believes that one star, in all its glory shining down on them is Zach? Just for a small amount of time, it's giving her comfort, Rick decides to drive all the way around and not turn off into the streets so Beth can have this moment of peace before the scenery is out of sight. He's thinking about everything that's happened in the short amount of time, how quickly it all ended, how quickly a couple could be separated. Lori flashes in his mind.

Rick pulls up into Beth's driveway, there's unpacking boxes out by the bins, boxes half open in the garage with the door still up, the scene told him Beth may have been unpacking when she had gotten the visit from Deputy Alby and in the madness, the garage door was left open. He turns off the engine and looks into the rear-view mirror. Beth was oblivious to her surroundings not noticing the car had stopped just staring out the window. He gets out the car and opens Beth's door, the woman next to her gently tells Beth that she is home.

Beth looks up at the house, it looked big and un-welcoming, how could this be home, she was here alone. It was now just bricks and water, just a house, twenty-four hours ago they were stripping wall paper and debating about what colours to paint the walls, planning a future in their home. She remembers Zach had teased should they christen their bedroom and get on with the nursery now or wait a few more years. She wanted to be a mom and have a family and Zach seemed to want the same, they never really spoke about it but Beth loved kids, it was obvious. She had blushed beetroot red and the look Zach had given her earned him a punch in the arm and a paint fight erupted, both covered head to toe in streaks of paint. Beth took in a deep breath, the memories, she could feel a hole in her heart, what should have been their future; Zach, a qualified doctor and she, a teacher at King County Elementary School and then, one day, they'd start a family. All that was a dream to never come true now, a lonely house awaited her and she felt completely and utterly alone.

Rick can see her internal nightmare finally registering what's happened, he kneels down next to the open door with his hand extended out to her. She hesitates at the sight of the hand but can feel the warmth radiating off it, looks up and meets his warm eyes. She stares at him confused, he blinks his eyes telling her it's ok and she reaches out. He helps her up and has to grab her around the waist, she looks so fragile and pale, he's gentle as not to hurt her.

Rick knows there's nothing he or anybody can say or do that will bring her out of her comatose state, she's going to need time and support to heal. The air is now chilly, he can see Beth shivering. He takes off his coat and puts it around her shoulders, his hand presses on her back to guide her towards the house. Amy, her friend comes bouncing around and wraps her arms around Beth and gives Rick a grateful smile.

"Thank you officer, I'll take her from here. Let's get you to bed Bethy."

She manoeuvres Beth towards the house. Beth looks like a walking corpse, nobody should have to go through what she's had to go through. He couldn't bring himself to say goodbye or give his condolences, it felt wrong to point it out to Beth again, no words needed to be spoken so he tilts his hat and nods to Amy, Amy nods back. He stands on the footpath watching the women walk up the drive.

Rick looks at his watch and its midnight. He rubs his face with his hands, he can feel the freshly grown stubbles on his tired face letting him know its way past his shift being over, he needs sleep but knows sleep will not be coming to him tonight, his thoughts keep going back to the accident, Zach's life ended in a flash and the girl that's left behind, what will happen to her? he'll probably never see her again. Life is so unpredictable, you never know what tomorrow brings, thoughts of Carl and Lori come into his mind, he gets into his car, starts the engine and reverses the car out the driveway turning round into the street and sets off home, he looks into his mirror watching a broken Beth enter her house, he feels a twisting pull at his heart, she lost the love of her life, will she be able to pick herself back up and move on?

All the way home, he reflects back on his life, accidents usually do that to him making him grateful to be able to go home to his family remembering all the happy times. Driving up to his house reality hits, he was using those happy memories to cover up. If he was so happy, why after 20 minutes is he still sitting in his car and not running into his house and grabbing hold of Lori and embracing her with his love? How did life turn out the way it has and how can two people so right for one another at one time suddenly become so wrong for each other? The cracks in their relationship had been appearing for a while, they turned a blind eye to the cracks and covered them up with the excuses of Carl.

Lori having more time on her hands with Carl at school has become miserable at being home alone. Being a mother and housewife was not how she thought it would be. They discussed more children but Lori soon put an end to extending their family.

**_Flashback_**

_"__I want you to have a vasectomy" Lori says turning away._

_"__You've got to be kidding, where has this come from?" Rick grabs hold of Lori's arm and turns her around to face him in disbelief._

_"__I'm serious Rick, I don't want any more children" she shrugs off his hand_

_Rick grabs Lori's face in his hands and rubs his thumbs on her cheeks "Lori, baby, you're not thinkin' straight, we always talked about havin' a couple more, a brother and sister for Carl, we were both only kids and we hated it, think about what you're sayin'!" _

_"__Rick it's all I've thought about. I don't want to be stuck at home anymore, I want to do somethin' other than cook, clean, be mom and an officer's wife. You won't understand your at work all day" _

_"__Baby you can do anything, you know that, I'll support anything you decide, you always wanted to write a novel, you could do that or if you decide you want to work in the art gallery you love, I'll support you, I just cannot have a vasectomy."_

_"__Are you asking me to have a hysterectomy then? Lori glares at Rick and he lets go of her cheeks and holds her hands_

_"__God no! I'd never ask you to do that, never! I just cannot support your reasonin' of me having a vasectomy. You might change your mind and one day it will be too late, we'll both regret it. If you're not ready then fine, we wait a few more years and if it doesn't happen then fine but let's keep our options open so if we want another child one day, we can."_

_"__Rick, respect my decision and respect my body, I don't want any more children, if it means I have to pop a few pills to prevent any pregnancies then fine, so be it!"_

_"Lori, it works both ways, you need to also respect mine!" _

_Lori storms off to their bedroom and slams the door. Rick takes a seat on the couch and buries his face in his hands._

Rick just sits in the cars looking at the photo. Maybe the light had gone out a long time ago but he refused to accept it, this happy picture together was what was making him hold on. Had the man upstairs got it wrong, had their souls got lost and they just grabbed on to what they could for some happiness, its short lived? His mind conflicted, voices talking in his head, Lori the loudest of his lack of care and failures as a husband, Shane preaching his advice, the accident, blood everywhere, Zach's last words quietly echoing, the girl left behind and then the photo falls to the floor.


	4. Loved Back to Life - Chapter 4

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:** Hello…thank you to the people taking the time to check this fic out and those who have left reviews, it's really nice to read your comments and it is really encouraging. There will be a mixture of different emotions and situations with characters entering and affecting Rick and Beth's lives and how their worlds collide and gravitate towards each other. It will be a gradual process of friendship and building those friendships as time goes by. There will be a bit of angst throughout but I try to make sure to balance it out with some laughter and happy, nice tender moments coming up soon. I'm new to writing so hopefully I don't completely fluff this up.

Apologies in advance for any spelling and grammatical errors.

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own the Walking Dead or its characters

**WARNINGS:** Funeral

Anything in _Italics are thoughts_

* * *

><p><strong>Loved Back to Life<strong>

**Chapter 4**

* * *

><p>Rick wakes up to the sound of an Iron Man alarm. Rubbing his eyes, the music gets louder and louder next to his ear, he hits the off button and has to catch it before it hits the floor. Rick opens his eyes scanning the familiar room looking at the posters of Marvel characters he had once grown up with when he was a kid evidently rubbed off onto his son who's become obsessed with his old toys and comics he once collected.<p>

He looks to his side and sees a mop full of hair covering eyes with tiny little snores escaping from the little lips. He smiles to himself, Carl could sleep through anything even when he was a baby.

Turning fully on his side trying not to fall off the tiny bed he faces Carl watching his chest rise and fall, he places his arm around him. He doesn't remember walking into the house, he was exhausted and that's where he's feet must have carried him. Most nights especially after a bad shift, he'd go in to check on Carl and he'd allow himself to close his eyes for a bit and then he would wake up the following morning laying next to Carl and today he's still in his uniform.

Rick looks out the window, the sun has risen. He can hear the paperboy's bike screeching to a halt then the sound of the paper hitting the screen door with a thud, a moment later, the neighbour's Chihuahuas chasing the bike inside the fence barking. Another day begins. Today is the first day without Zach, his family and friends begin their mourning and he takes a moment to think of the young man he met briefly and will never get the opportunity to know better. Zach laying on the bonnet staring back at him through his bang covered eyes come into his mind.

Rick cuddles Carl for comfort and he clings to him for as long as he can. He remembers Zach's eyes looking into his, accepting his fate and all he was worried about in the end was Beth. His love was unselfish, he wished for the woman he loved to have everything she, they dreamed of with somebody else, it was bittersweet, something he felt he maybe could never do. Zach is one of the most kind-hearted, bravest person he has come across and has touched his life in away nobody will ever know. It's a meeting he will never forget.

He closes his eyes, the last thing Zach whispered to him whilst gripping his hands keeps echoing in his head and it confuses him. The content knowing smile Zach had on his face reassuring him through his own problems _"everything's gonna be ok Rick, your here, take care of Beth, she'll take care of you". Rick replays this over and over_.

Carl reaches over and pokes his fingers on Rick's stubble giggling at the roughness.

"Hey buddy" Rick smiles and pulls his nose.

"Your chin feels spiky," Carl giggles but then notices sadness on Rick's face "you look sad?"

"I'm a little sad but I'll be ok, just got a lot on my mind."

"Did you have a bad day at work?" Carl asks

"It was a tough night for me and a lot tougher for some other people" Rick answers

Carl asks worriedly "are you ok dad?"

Rick smiles "I am now," breathing into Carl's hair "time to get up for school?"

"Five more minutes?" Carl covers his face with the covers "dad?"

"hmmm?"

"I was wondering…-" Carl cuts off mid-sentence

"You were wondering?"

"Can we go to the comic store today?" there's a long pause "The new Superman comic is out, I saved up my pocket money-"

Carl had an anxious look on his face which added to Rick's worries and he releases a long sigh. He could sense the hesitation, Carl had obviously remembered him and Lori arguing about money being tight a couple of days ago. He remembers trying to calm Lori down but she was irate and bore her eyes angrily at him. Whatever he said, she didn't want to listen, she accused him that he didn't care about her opinions and that he didn't even care about them, he was only bothered about his job. It was like a punch in the gut and Lori knew how to turn it all on him, they needed the extra money and she voiced this many times so Rick had been doing extra overtime and now this had become a problem for her. Feeling deflated he just lost the fight in him, he was always mediating between members of the public but this was tiring him out. To avoid any further argument, he had wanted to walk away but as he turned he had caught Carl standing beside the fridge looking down at the floor upset. Lori was spitting bullets in the air without a care and all this was within earshot of Carl before school. The drive had been silent, no kid needed to hear that and he could only guess what was going through Carl's mind. He felt angry at Lori and himself for letting it get like this, their son too scared to ask or say anything because he was afraid they'd fight. This was getting out of hand and Carl was the one suffering the most.

Rick was only working til 3pm today to write up reports and Lori had errands to run so he decided instead to spend quality time with Carl. He pulls the covers off to look at Carl and Carl looks up at him.

"I've got the afternoon off, we can hit the comic store straight after school, you can buy a comic book with your pocket money and I'll buy one with my pocket money and we'll add them to the collection? We can grab burgers and fries at the diner for dinner and then you can show me how to do those maths problems that I'm so terrible at," he tickles Carl's tummy and he screams laughing "just us guys and I'll tell you the story when Shane used to run around with his underpants over his trousers and pretend to be like Superman?"

Carl laughs covering his mouth and then gives Rick a toothy grin "just me and you?"

Rick nods yes in answer

"You're the best!" Carl gives him a hug that he has needed all night.

Seeing Carl happy warmed his heart. He's a good boy, too grown up and understanding for his age. He blames himself and Lori for that, Carl should never have to listen to them arguing, it was unhealthy, this is not what marriage is supposed to be like. Lori was miserable and he felt at times responsible for her feeling like this, it was starting to take its toll on them all. They had both changed, either they give themselves a second chance or call it a day. Months in denial of their current situation, he couldn't continue in this unhappy atmosphere anymore, he would have to sit down with Lori and they'd have to put it all out on the table, if not for them but for Carl.

Carl's stomach grumbles and snaps him out of his dreaded thoughts and they both laugh.

"How about we get up and have breakfast, give mom a break, she's always runnin' around after us, we could have some...coco-pops?"

Carl jumps out of bed "coco-pops!"

* * *

><p>Beth lays on her childhood bed staring at the ceiling. Her brother and father came and took her back to the farm the night of the accident. Hershel had practically broken all the speed limits to get to King County to get to his daughter and take her back home where she belonged with him.<p>

Seeing Beth was heart-breaking, she was a former shadow of herself, she was just laying on the bed looking blank. Amy had tried to get her to talk, eat, drink but nothing, Beth just stared into space. Amy couldn't keep it in any longer and cried, she'd kept it together but seeing her adopted family, she let loose her tears. Shawn had to take her out of the room and hold her whilst she cried. Shawn never thought he would wish this, but he wished so badly Zach would walk through the door with that annoyingly happy smile on his face and see Beth's face light up, run over and smack him all over his body and then hug him in squeals of laughter. Zach had finally grown on him and he regretted now how hard of a time he gave him.

That night Hershel wouldn't leave Beth's side and Maggie laid next to her on the bed. The doctor had to be called and give Beth a sedative to get her to sleep. Hershel slept in the rocking chair and when Beth would stir in the night, he'd be sitting there stroking her head and reassuring her she was home and safe with Maggie laying there holding her hand.

The funeral takes place a week later. The Church is adorned with beautiful flowers and full of family and friends. Zach's parents sit holding Beth's hands in the front pew listening to Zach's older brother Josh who'd flown back from the middle-east now standing before everyone reading Zach's eulogy and stories of what they used to get up to when they were kids. It was comforting for Beth to hear of his childhood, she can see a naughty little Zach bringing home all sorts of creatures, stray cats, dogs, frogs… Josh is laughing at one particular memory...

**_Flashback_**

_"__Zachary, what's your cat's name, he's nice and fluffy?_ Grandma asks stroking the animal on her lap, she searches for her glasses so she can take a better look.

Dad turns around and looks at Grandma puzzled _"We don't have a cat!"_

Looking at the animal standing on Grandma's lap, his eyes widen in shock recognising the animal with white stripe that runs from its head to its tail "THAT'S NOT A CAT, mom be very still, that's a…"

"That's Mr Spray Pants, my pet skunk, he was hurt by the road, I bandaged his leg, don't scare him or else.." Zach explains packing away the first aid kit

Grandma finds her glasses on her head and slides them down to take a look, her smile turns to horror and she's screaming the house down. Before we know it, the skunks lifts it tail up and sprays a strong liquid into Grandma's face and all chaos erupts

"Wow! it really works and it really smells" Zach was impressed and we ran out after the skunk and Dad yelled absolutely no animals in the house but then the following week, mom found a snake having a shower in the bath.

Everyone laughs at the memory and Josh wipes his eyes.

_"Let us commend Zachary to the mercy of God, our maker and redeemer." The priest then reads a prayer of entrusting and commending._

There had been a light shower, the sun finally comes out and now there was a beautiful rainbow in the horizon. Beth looks at the rainbow as Zach's coffin is being lowered into the grave, he loved rainbows Beth thought.

_"We therefore commit Zachary's body to the ground, earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust, in the sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life"_

Hymns are sung and one by one family and friends throw a handful of soil into the coffin and then the priest reads a short prayer.

Beth is left alone. She sits on her knees at the graveside. She places a pink rose on the soil, it was the first flower Zach had given her and one when they moved to King County to start a new life, a new beginning. She places a pink rose there for Zach to start his new life where ever it may be, he was her best friend and she will never forget him. She promises she will try her hardest to fulfil his last wishes, it will be hard but she will carry on. _"I promise"_ she kisses the tip of her fingers and places it on the grave allowing a few tear drops to fall and soak into the soil_. _Smiling sadly, she rises and walks slowly to her family waiting for her by the cars.

Rick had sat at the back of the church during the service and watched Beth from a distance, Maggie, Shawn, Amy and Josh were constantly at her side. He could see Beth was struggling with the attention and wanted to be left alone. Whenever he tried to approach her, there was somebody there hugging and kissing her and he felt awkward as he was not a family member or friend, somebody was going to ask who he was, he didn't want that attention he usually got. They both were with Zach at the end and it affected him more than any other incident, he wanted to talk to her but he honestly didn't know what to say, what would he say?

Knowing that they'd never get to speak alone, he makes his way over to Zach's brother and parents to give his condolences before leaving. Josh and his father shake his hands and his mother hugs him whispering _"God bless you for showing kindness to my child and my daughter-in-law"_ she kisses Rick on the cheek.

Hershel had sought Rick out from the guests and took him to aside. He thanks him for being there with Zach in his last moments and for looking after Beth during the aftermath. Amy had told Hershel how amazing Rick was, how he wouldn't leave Zach, he protected Beth the best he could from the accident scene, he handled the situation with the utmost compassion and care. Beth had only responded to his soothing words. Rick could see the gratitude in Hershel's watering eyes, Hershel was so choked he lost his voice and pulled Rick into a tight hug

"Thank you son, thank you for looking after my little girl when I couldn't, I know you're going to say it was your duty but you did over and above what your duty required, this world needs more people like you!"

Rick was touched, Hershel meant every word, he could see how precious Beth was to him. Rick overcome with emotion hugs Hershel back with the same force, Hershel reminded him of his late father, comforting words was what he needed to hear when his life was upside down, to felt valued and needed, nobody has spoken to him in this manner in years and it meant a lot to him.

Rick sits in his car taking a moment, it's been an emotional morning, especially the last half hour.

Beth has been escorted into one of the cars to be taken home. Rick catches a glance at Beth whilst the car drives past, a brief moment their eyes lock on each other and they do not need to say a word, it's all expressed in just this moment and then she's out of his sight.

In normal circumstances, Lori would be with him holding his hand, she's no longer that support, at least he had Carl waiting for him. Rick starts the engine and makes his way home.


	5. Chapter 5

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:** Hi, I've was going to post this last week before the MSF but I got busy with work and stuff and then watched S5E8 and I was really depressed after that, it's like family/friend died. I really wanted the rumours that were going around to have been false. I don't think I will be able to watch that episode for a very long time, it really had me in tears, I couldn't bear to see Beth shot and not be reunited properly with Daryl, Judith and the group. They could have at least shown Daryl and Beth embrace or something since everything they had been through, Rick gave her a kiss and comforted her a bit, Daryl and Beth were past that awkwardness. However, the aftermath scene of Daryl and Rick was so sad to watch. I'm not satisfied with the arc the show have been going on about Beth. Yes she got strong and then they just killed her! Beth had A LOT of potential to progress into a really strong female character, a teen growing up into a woman in the zombie apocalypse, really they could have done so much with her character like they did with Carol but being able to keep a hold of Beth's characteristics true to her character, I don't know.

I will continue my stories, I want to keep Beth alive here and I hope the other writers do the same. It will be sad if they stopped.

Apologies in advance for any spelling and grammatical errors.

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own the Walking Dead or its characters or the featured song (Kelly Clarkson - Already Gone)

**WARNINGS:** none

Anything in _Italics are thoughts_

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><p><strong>Loved Back to Life<strong>

**Chapter 5**

* * *

><p>It was a quiet night, no major incidents, the county was on its best behaviour. Rick had hoped there'd be something other than circling around in his patrol car to distract him so he wasn't left to his thoughts. Nearly everywhere he drove by, a memory of him and Lori would creep into his mind.<p>

They finally sat down and had the talk they both had been avoiding for such a long time, the breakdown of their marriage. They talked, argued, Lori had blamed Rick, he had accepted his faults but pointed out the blame came both ways, neither were perfect. Rick wanted to lash out months of built up tension boiling up inside of him of her shortcomings as a wife, mother and a friend but he didn't, he didn't think Lori could handle the truth nor accept any fault of her own, he had given up even trying to make her see past herself.

They had sat there for hours exhausted. Neither had any more to say to one another and Rick felt it deep down within himself their marriage was over. For the first time in his marriage in a long time, he did what he felt was right, he wasn't going to cover up the cracks.

_"__Lori, you know that I love you, I love you enough to let you go"_

Lori looked up and met Rick's eyes, they were clear and resolute. Rick could see the disbelief growing on her face and the more intently he looked at her, the more he could see it was finally registering. Rick frowned, he didn't want to do this and his eyes softened.

At the back of her mind, she had thought that Rick would just lay down some changes, that they try again but he didn't and it hit her like a ton of bricks, Rick was walking away after all these years.

They both had sat on opposite sides of the table and Lori began to cry, Rick didn't stop his tears from falling, he hated himself for doing this but they didn't work anymore, it was the end which was meant to be forever.

They finally agreed on a divorce. Lori had decided she couldn't stay in King County, face people and the gossiping, she decided to go stay with her parents who live a couple of hours drive away. She mentioned she was going to take Carl with her but something awakened inside of Rick, if he was going to fight for someone it was someone he couldn't live without, he was firm and aggressive he wouldn't allow Carl to be taken out of town, out of school, their home. Lori was knocked for six, the assertiveness Rick showed for Carl and nothing for her. She was shocked and didn't argue with him so it was agreed Carl would stay with Rick. Rick had secretly been relieved Lori didn't put up much of a fight, she was stubborn and strong minded, at one time he found this attractive and they were the opposites who attract but he wasn't sure what would happen down the line once she recovered, her actions and behaviour were nowadays unpredictable.

Carl was sleeping over at Morgan's house tonight. Morgan said it would be good for Carl to spend some time with Duane, just be a kid, he and Jenny would take care of him for the night so Rick could sort his head out after the events of the past week and to be honest Morgan noticed Rick wasn't looking so good, he had dark circles under his eyes, hasn't shaved for a couple of days and was surviving on a few hours of sleep. Morgan joked he was beginning to look like a hobo, he needed a shave, a shower, good food in his belly and just sort himself out, he would take care of Carl like his own. At first Rick was reluctant to the idea so soon after Lori had gone but after Morgan put his case forward that it was in the best interest of Carl, he agreed.

Carl didn't want to go and stay with the Jones, although he loved it there, he thought Rick would leave him as well and stared down at the floor. Rick got down onto his knees, put his hands on Carl's shoulders so they were eye level and promised, he and a bowl of his famous porridge which would be better than his last attempt would be waiting for him in the morning before he dropped him off at school. Rick gave Carl the Rick Grimes No Talking Shit Stare and he knew his dad meant what he said, a little smile formed on his face and he threw his arms around Rick's neck. Rick picked him up off the ground and hugged him into a bear hug, Carl giggled _"Dad, can you be waitin' with a bowl of Coco-Pops instead?"_ which made Rick laugh and squeeze him more _"Sure buddy, I was hopin' you'd say that cause I think I've burnt all the saucepans". _

Morgan watched father and son with a smile and hoped that they could both move on without Lori. Shane couldn't be relied upon to lookout for Rick and Carl, his idea will be to drag Rick out to the bars and strip clubs to drown his sorrows. Rick and Lori were madly in love since high school so it must have torn Rick to end their marriage, he didn't want Rick punishing himself like he does when he feels like he's let people down so he promised to make sure to be there for his friend and call the only other friend whose like a brother to Rick. The man speaks little but him just being there would mean a lot to Rick.

Rick wasn't able to sit at home, he volunteered to do overtime hoping his mind would be distracted with work but to no avail.

Pulling up outside the diner, Rick looks up at the neon lights, Vatos Diner. Lori never came in here, she disliked the place, the appearances of the owners and their workers were too rough looking for her likings. Rick liked to come here on his breaks than the other eateries they'd usually go to, the Vatos Crew weren't so bad once he got to know them after a misunderstanding years back which involved misinformation by a mole from a rival crew, a near shootout and Guillermo the leader threatening that he would feed the infiltrator and anyone who interfered to his three vicious dogs which turned out to be Teacup-sized Chihuahuas, they didn't trust cops either. Rick had controlled the situation and then there was a truce between The Vatos and the Sheriff's Department. It's a joke amongst them now, Rick has formed a friendship with the Vatos Crew and Felipe was actually a nurse at the old people's home who looked after old Mr Gilbert who was one of his neighbors, he'd started having serious asthmatic attacks and needed twenty-four hour care. Felipe was one of his nurses and he would give Rick weekly updates on his health.

Feeling relaxed and in a non-Lori environment, he gets out of the car and makes his quick entrance from the cold into the warmth of the diner.

There's only a few people left dining, it's around 10pm, Rick had come in on his break to get a late night caffeine fix to keep him alert for the remainder of his shift. He takes off his hat, putting it down on the counter and takes a seat on the stool. There's low music playing from the radio, he sits there listening to the song, it seemed tonight he wouldn't get a break from his thoughts as the song plays, quietly in the background.

_"__Remember all the things we wanted  
>Now all our memories, they're haunted<br>We were always meant to say goodbye_

_Even with our fists held high,  
>It never would've worked out right, Yea<br>We were never meant for do or die_

_I didn't want us to burn out  
>I didn't come here to hurt you, now I can't stop<em>

_I want you to know that it doesn't matter  
>Where we take this road someone's gotta go<br>And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better  
>But I want you to move on so I'm already gone<em>

_Looking at you makes it harder  
>But I know that you'll find another<br>That doesn't always make you want to cry_

_Started with a perfect kiss then  
>We could feel the poison set in<br>Perfect couldn't keep this love alive_

_You know that I love you so  
>I love you enough to let you go<em>

_I want you to know that it doesn't matter  
>Where we take this road someone's gotta go<br>And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better  
>But I want you to move on so I'm already gone<em>

_I'm already gone, already gone  
>You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong<br>I'm already gone, already gone  
>There's no moving on so I'm already gone<em>

_Already gone, already gone, already gone  
>Already gone, already gone, already gone, yeah<em>

_Remember all the things we wanted  
>Now all our memories, they're haunted<br>We were always meant to say goodbye_

_I want you to know that it doesn't matter  
>Where we take this road someone's gotta go<br>And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better  
>But I want you to move on so I'm already gone<em>

_I'm already gone, already gone  
>You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong<br>I'm already gone, already gone  
>There's no moving on so I'm already gone"<em>

"Marshall BraveStarr, what can I get ya" the waitress asks blowing a bubble from her gum, it pops snapping Rick out of his thoughts. He looks up at the tomboy behind the counter.

"Just a strong black coffee Tara" Rick requests, his mouth turns up at the corners a little at the nickname Tara had given him. It was Deputy Rick for a year and then her dad got ill and she and her sister nursed him back to health, they'd spent months watching his old videos from the 80s and one cartoon of a lawman with morals reminded her of Rick and the name stuck. She'd recite a few lines from the theme song to him, all in good humour;

_"__One day, a lawman appeared, with powers of a hawk, wolf, puma and bear, protector of piece, mystic man from afar, champion of justice, Marshall BraveStarr!" _

The first time Shane heard this, he was on the floor laughing and then she called him Thirty/Thirty who was Marshall BraveStarr's talking techno horse. Shane didn't like being referred to a horse. Tara snorted _"it's better than jackass!"_ Like Thirty/Thirty, Shane liked to carry a giant rifle, was quick tempered and aggressive which occasionally (most of the times) led to disagreements between him and Rick about the use of force in the line of duty. Shane is a hot head, all guns blazin' whereas Rick is calm, a mediator in any conflict, and often seeks peaceful resolution to every problem, unless confronted by a hostile threat to the public is when he draws his gun, the badge on his chest, really says who he is and what he stands for.

Rick enjoyed Tara's analogy of them and the cartoon characters. It made him laugh, especially when Shane would sulk like a kid and point out that Rick was not a Native American and he would try and refer himself to the Galaxy Rangers or Captain America. Tara knew Captain America which he was not!_ "and who the hell were the Galaxy Rangers?"_ she thought.

"Busy night, anything exciting to report?" Tara enquiries whilst pouring the hot black liquid into a mug.

"Just the one or two nosey neighbours"

"Ah, a cop's best friend!" Tara places the coffee in front of Rick

Tara, fresh out of college has been pondering whether to finally sign up to the academy. She wanted more than pouring coffee and flipping burgers for a living. A few members of her family were officers of the law, she's been taught how shoot a gun and knows how to defend herself, she just needs the discipline and guidance to make it. She would eagerly listen to stories from The Vatos and Rick and Shane would tell her about when they were rookies, they made it sound fun and action packed but Rick would bring her back to reality especially when Shane said their lives were like a Lethal Weapon Movie. Rick the realistic would point out it was nothing like a Lethal Weapon Movie, it was a tough job with a lot of responsibilities, he would give her the down side of being a cop which she would frown at but she didn't mind, she wanted to be a part of something like Rick and Shane were and she liked the whole aspect of the force being your family which Rick said was what he liked about his job and the satisfaction it gave him to be able to help people.

Rick notices Tara still standing in front of him but she was staring behind him. He thought maybe she's off on one of her daydreams and takes a sip of his coffee leaving her to it, he really didn't feel like engaging in conversation and hoped she would leave him be today.

"She's the prettiest girl I've ever seen!"

Rick turns around to see what Tara's going on about and his eyes land on the young woman sitting in the booth staring out the window. He recognises the blonde ponytail and moving his gaze closer, he recognises the young woman "Beth?"

"You know her Rick?" Tara asks curiously and eagerly hoping that he'll introduce them.

Rick nods and excuses himself.

He walks over slowly and stops at the booth. Beth looks to her side and sees a man in uniform beside her. She notices the holster with its weapon fastened in, baton and handcuffs at the side. Her gaze trails up and meets kind blue eyes she's met before.

"May I?" Rick asks gesturing towards to the seat opposite.

Beth nods a yes and her eyes slip back down to her cup. Rick takes the seat opposite her and watches her for a long moment.

They just sit there in companionable silence, neither in a rush to talk. Rick watches her fingers play around the cup and the light catches on the diamond ring on her engagement finger which catches his attention.

"I apologise I didn't get an opportunity to speak to you this mornin', I didn't want to interrupt or intrude when you were amongst guests. I wanted to pay my respects to you and your family. It was rude of me to leave without speaking to you."

Beth fingers stop moving "You weren't intruding and you don't need to apologise" she says looking up from her cup.

Rick noticed she looked pale and so delicate, her eyes mirrored his own, lost and sleep deprived. He could only imagine on a normal day there'd be a spark and most likely a natural glow of rose colour to her cheeks.

"I was glad to see you came. The people who mattered to Zach in the end were there. Thank you for coming." Beth had meant it and after a while she averts her eyes from his and looks back at the cup and Rick gives her a sad smile.

Rick wanted give her some comfort, some kind of reassurance that everything will be fine but he wasn't sure what to say, he himself was going through a hard time and didn't know whether he would be able to be happy again and be able to move on, get on with life like the past fifteen years never happened, remembering only hurt but they were apart of who he is. His mind was searching for the right thing to say and he just thought about the time he and Zack spent talking.

"He talked about you before he died"

"He did?" Beth asks

Rick smiles nodding

"I didn't know him long but talking to him, I could tell he was a special guy, a guy who shouldn't have died, a guy who clearly loved you."

Rick's words warned Beth's heart and this was evident as for the first time he had seen Beth smile, it was a sweet smile, a few silent tears run down her face and she tries to wipe them away. Rick searches his pocket and hands her his handkerchief and a little micro-machine police car falls out dropping on the table. Beth picks it up and smiles at it.

"My sons," Rick says looking at the micro-machine "he must have put it in my pocket earlier when I dropped him off at school." Rick rummages through his other pocket and finds a tiny Sheriff Lego-man and puts it down in front of him.

"He wants to take after his daddy when he grows up" Beth says looking at the toys and then up at him.

Rick leans back in his seat nodding

"Yea, I have a feelin' he does but if he wanted to be a Formula One Driver or the next Billy Elliott I'd support him."

Beth allows herself to smile "That's refreshing to hear, you seem to be a cool dad, I bet your son thinks so? How old is he?"

"He's 7 going onto 70" Rick laughs rubbing his brow, not sure anyone has referred to him as being a cool dad apart from Carl.

"At that age, they tend to be like that, sometimes I get mixed up who the parent is with my kids" she manages a laugh.

Rick looks at Beth uncertainly, she's young early 20s he thinks. He didn't remember Zach talking about them having children?

"You have kids?" He asks

Beth looks up from the toys sadly "No" she shakes her head and finally realising how it must have sounded to a stranger

"No, I meant the kids I teach."

"You're a teacher?" Rick asks

"I am...was-"

Rick study's her for a while, gone was her smile and now the vacant face with the lost look in her eyes again, he realised he'd inadvertently upset her out of his curiosity. He sits up and elbows lean forward on to the table.

"I'm sorry Beth, I didn't mean to upset you"

She shakes her head no, "I know you didn't mean to upset me. I just keep thinking about Zach, everything reminds me of him and stuff we talked about, I feel so…empty." she whispers.

"I can't say I know what you're going through, I can only imagine but in time, I hope, things will get easier, believe in your faith, Zach told me he wanted you to live a full life and to have everything you wanted to become a reality, he wouldn't want you to be stuck in the past of_ "what if"_ he'd want you to remember the good times you shared and it would make him happy to see you look to the future and find that again. Granted it won't happen overnight but with time, one day you'll see he was right."

Beth looks up at Rick

"Maybe…he said that to me too" she whispers.

Rick wanted to kick himself, he feels guilty for being so forward and talking about moving on, he'd upset her, she'd become quiet and distant again. He wasn't in the right mind to be giving out advice he himself wouldn't be able to take. He opens his mouth to speak but then stops waiting for a response from Beth so he sits patiently.

"I locked myself in my bathroom a couple of nights ago and did something stupid. I smashed my mirror, picked up a piece of broken glass, held it to my wrist, ready to-" Beth stops and closes her eyes "I couldn't go through with it, I couldn't do it."

Beth is shaking, "How could I be so selfish, irresponsible and stupid! Daddy, Maggie, Shawn, what I would have put them through, god – please forgive me" she began sobbing into her hands. Without hesitation, Rick gets up and takes a seat beside her and puts a comforting arm around her shoulder, he could see she was on the verge of having a panic attack, Rick pulls her to him and held her while she cried.

"Hey, you didn't go through with it, that's the most important thing, you decided that your life was worth living, you're stronger than you think." Rick says while stroking his hand up and down her arm and Beth nods her head in between her crying gasps.

Tara worried, rushes over to their table and hands a glass of water to Rick. She watches Rick place the cup to her lips for her to drink. Rick noticing Tara still hovering over them, nods a thank you and kindly gestures for her to leave them in privacy. Tara sulkily walks off.

Beth's eyelids slip closed finally calm and looking like she could fall asleep any moment.

"It's alright, just rest" he says breathing into her hair.

Beth's breathing becomes steady, Rick scan feel her heart rate slowing down to match his which was a good sign.

Rick sits with her allowing the peace and comfort he could provide to her for as long as she needed. Seeing a lot of the diners leaving and noticing the time, Rick whispers down to her squeezing gently on her arm to get her attention.

"It's pretty late, would you like me to call someone or I could drive you home?"

Beth sits up "that's ok I have my car"

"I'll drive you home" Rick offers

"I'll be fine" Beth says as she tries to stand not wanting to be a nuisance, she felt embarrassed she broke down in front of the deputy again.

"Beth, allow me to drive you home" Rick insists as he stands blocking her way

Tara coughs watching from behind the counter, Rick takes out his wallet and pays for his and Beth's undrunk drinks and returns to stand beside her waiting for her to answer. Beth thinks a while and then reluctantly agrees as he was adamant he wasn't going to let her drive home in her state of mind. Rick relieved she accepted, helps her put on her coat and leads her to the door when a commotion erupts when the diner doors fly open.

"Thank god Beth!"

Maggie and Amy run up to her and Maggie pulls Beth into a tight hug.

"Oh Bethie, I was so worried, daddy doesn't know you snuck out, he'll be freakin' out if he finds out" Maggie kisses Beth on the forehead.

"You left without informin' anyone!" Amy was angry but that didn't last long and she was hugging Beth

"I'm sorry, I just needed to be alone to think, how did you find me?" Beth feels guilty that her sister and Amy were out looking for her.

"Glenn tracked the GPS on your cell"

The door bangs open, Glenn is rushing in with a smile on his face "Beth!" Glenn hugs her. Glen sees Rick standing behind Beth and walks over extending his hand recognising him from the funeral but not actually been introduced.

"Hi, I'm Glenn Rhee, I'm Maggie's husband, it's nice to finally meet you."

Amy had sung Rick's praises that if he wasn't there to handle the accident, look after Beth and if it was left to Deputy Walsh, she didn't know what would have happened and Glenn wanted to show his appreciation to the officer who took such good care of his sister-in-law who he loved like his own.

"Rick Grimes" Rick shakes Glenn's extended hand and nods hello to Maggie and Amy.

"We wanted to say thank you for everything you did that day, the few cops I've come across are nothing like how Amy described you. Can I buy you a drink?"

"It was nothing, really, I was only glad I was there to help" Rick responded never been good at receiving praises

Glenn did some background checks on Rick, curious of the deputy Amy and Zach's family had praised, Beth had said nothing but he could see that Beth was comfortable in the deputy's presence. He knew from the few articles on the small town deputy, Rick was well-liked and respected by all and he'd even made a few good arrests which made it in the local papers.

Maggie concerned about getting Beth home interrupts that its late and that they should head home. They all make quick visits to the bathroom leaving Beth and Rick alone for a few minutes. Rick opens his wallet and removes one of his cards and he writes something on the back. He looks up and hands the card to Beth.

"My card, if ever you need someone to talk to. If you can't reach me at work, you can call me on my cell, the number is on the back. If I don't pick up, leave me a message, text, I'll call back when I pick up my messages."

Beth accepts the card "Thank you Deputy Grimes"

"Rick" he smiles

"Thank you Rick, thank you for listenin'." She looks up appreciatively at him and he looked happy to have helped.

"It was nice to meet you Rick, maybe we'll see you around" Glenn smiles

Rick nods "Good Night" to them all.

They all leave the diner and Beth takes a quick look back at Rick and smiles at him and he smiles back. Rick watches Glenn drive Beth and Maggie home and Amy gets into Beth's mini and follows behind.

Rick's portable radio goes off and he waves Tara bye as he responds to the call. He was glad he had gotten a chance to speak to Beth and given her his number in case she needed somebody to talk to and he really was glad if he could help her in anyway. He now just had to get through tonight and then he'd be reunited with Carl in the morning. He felt better than he did earlier, he gave Beth some sound advice and he was going to try and use the advice himself. Priority - Carl and himself. He will go home after his shift, shave his growing beard which has become irritatingly itchy, eat and then sleep. He needed to get his life back on track and he and Carl would start afresh from tomorrow.


	6. Chapter 6

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:** Another chapter for those still joining me keeping Beth (Brick) alive, to a beautiful couple who could have been. To the Beth and Brick Writers, keep them alive for us on fanfiction, there are legendary writers here who have kept us gripped and obsessed in their writing, I need to read your stories, I really do, your writing takes me to the separate universes of Brick =)

Apologies in advance for any spelling and grammatical errors.

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own the Walking Dead or its characters

**WARNINGS:** none

Anything in _Italics are thoughts_

* * *

><p><strong>Loved Back to Life<strong>

**Chapter 6**

* * *

><p>Rick had tucked Carl into bed after reading a chapter of Harry Potter. Every night when Rick wasn't working a night shift, it was an unbreakable routine like brushing teeth that they'd settle down and get engrossed in Hogwarts the adventures of Harry, Ron and Hermione. Rick could recite the first five books by heart, the first five books were their favourites. Carl would insist Rick do the voices of Dumbledore and Hagrid which only made them laugh, Rick was bad at impersonating and they'd have to restart the line again. They used a sock as a bookmark in memory of Dobby. Kissing Carl on the head good night, Rick gathered dirty laundry, turned on the nightlight and made his way down to the laundry room to put on a wash and then cleared up the mess they'd made whilst cooking spagbol for dinner. It was now 9pm and Rick finally sat down on the couch with a well deserved beer to wind down for the evening in front of the TV.<p>

Even though the TV was on, like most nights, Rick couldn't concentrate and his mind would go to his thoughts he had buried deep down of how his life had turned out, a single parent alone on a Friday night, the only comfort he had was a cold beer, TV and control of the remote and he didn't have to watch Downton Abbey anymore. He looks up and sees the family pictures over the walls, they used to be happy at one time. Rick didn't want to look at the pictures so he got up and began to take all the pictures of Lori down. Carl would be upset, he'll explain to him why and move some of the pictures into Carl's room, he could keep as many pictures of his mom so to feel close to her. He didn't want to look at Lori at every corner of the house, being reminded of what they were and what they're not, he didn't need that, he and Carl were starting afresh.

It was around 10pm and he crashed back on the couch tired but his eyes wouldn't drift off to the land of sleep. A couple of minutes pass by and he hears a text message alert on his cell. He reaches over and sees an unidentified number. He presses read;

_"__I was walking down Main Street in Atlanta and saw this poster on the billboard and I remembered of our conversation last week. I thought maybe your son would like this"_

Rick scrolls down and sees a link, a poster and tickets purchased for a Billy Elliott Musical.

_"__When I needed someone, you were there, you're the first person who I felt I could confide in, not even to my daddy or sister. You didn't push me to speak you just held me and I felt safe. There's nothing I can say or do to show you my appreciation but I wanted to give you a little something. You don't have to accept these tickets but it would make me happy if you did. I remember how fondly you spoke about your son, and it would be a treat for him to get a chance to see this show, it's one of the best shows I've seen…dreams and all, looking to the future…I hope you accept…Beth"_

Rick can't believe it, he leans back on to the pillow in disbelief sighing, Carl had been going on about Billy Elliott the Musical for ages and he didn't get a chance to book tickets. He remembers how Carl was crushed but he didn't complain once, Rick was annoyed at himself as he was so caught up in his problems. Rick wondered how Beth got hold of these tickets when all the tickets were sold out, they must have cost her a fortune, all the moms and dads were pulling out their hair to get tickets. Rick presses the reply button

_"__You know you don't ever need to repay me, I meant what I said, anytime you need to talk, a shoulder, don't hesitate. The tickets are great, they must have cost you a fortune since they were sold out, how much did they cost, I will be willing to pay for these – Rick"_

he presses send and waits for a reply.

"_There is no cost, it's my gift to a little boy who dreams to be a dancer and if I can help in some way, then this is my small contribution to the next Billy Elliott' =)"_

A slow grin spreads across Rick's face, his mouth turns up at the corners and then into a full on smile. Carl was going to be overexcited tomorrow and Beth will be the person to thank when his eyes pop out of his eye sockets and he's jumping around the room screaming.

Rick taps away on his cell…

_"__Miss Greene, you're goin' to be responsible for the riot that's gonna erupt in the county when an excited 7 year old is runnin' around town screamin' to all his friends and their parents that he has tickets to the musical that nobody can get their hands on! We're goin' to have to have a lockdown at the Sherriff's office! I mean this, thank you, you made a defeated man's day…year…Rick =D" _

He presses send thinking how he was going to give Carl this news and how to thank Beth.

Message alert

_"__=) It was nothing…really…Good Night…Beth"_

Rick saves her number into his cell, gets up and switches the computer on to look at his schedule the day of the musical. He sees that he has a shift, he checks to see if he could switch shifts with one of the other deputies, Shane wouldn't be happy being partnered with Leon Basset for a day so he messages Deputy Alby first to switch. Drumming his fingers on the table waiting for a reply knowing Deputy Alby was on shift he'd respond straight away and as he thought, Alby text back agreeing. Happy, Rick types in the link address and reads up on the musical and sees what else they could do in Atlanta, they would make a whole day of it. It was finally midnight when he had worked out an itinerary that Carl would enjoy, he switches off the computer exhausted, sprints up the stairs, taking a peep in on Carl and then makes his way to his room. He knew when his head hit his pillow he would fall asleep peacefully like a baby and he did.

Beth puts her cell down smiling. She looks at the picture of her and Zach in the photo on her nightstand, she'd come across a really kind man who'd reached out to her, shown her kindness and believed she was strong and could do anything. She was remembering the good things in life, making someone happy, helping, she had decided it was time she began to rebuild her life and do the things that she had wanted to do before her life had changed. Zach wanted her to fulfill her dreams, he'd be proud and Rick was someone who'd reminded her that this was possible.

Her meeting in Atlanta had been positive and in a few weeks she'd start her new journey wherever it would lead her, she was hopeful that the change would be good, her family will be crushed, in time, they'd be happy but until then, she was determined to make a positive change and this would hopefully help her heal and finally move on. She had a lot of love to give and there were people out there that needed her love.

Beth fell asleep dreaming of the next stage of her life, it was unknown and scary but she was comforted by a kind stranger and his words to try and live life again, for the first time in a long time, she slept without tears in her eyes, she didn't feel the agonising pain in her heart so much, she was accepting that life goes on in this world and the next and she wanted to see what she could offer and what else was out there for her.

Reviews please?


	7. Chapter 7

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:** I want to thank the people who have added me as a favourite, are following, those who are reading and kind thanks to; Emma Kellog, Kaylah, Quest, daneruhl, malzateb, ValeriaGrimes, Atilia Dawn Black, Pretty Racing, Lovergirl24, Genni, terrazas14 and Iayvba who have kindly left me reviews.

_Malzateb – I think in TWD - Atlanta is the capital city of the US State Georgia and King County is in a rural county in the state of Georgia just off the edge so it must be a couple of hours drive away? I'm not too sure but Rick got from leaving Morgan and Duane from his hometown on horseback in a couple of hours to Atlanta. I'm not 100% sure but someone might be kind enough to confirm._

Apologies in advance for any spelling and grammatical errors.

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own the Walking Dead or its characters

**WARNINGS:** 1) Mentions of suicide 2) Beth leaving to fulfill a wish/ambition/goal but she will be back, I feel for my story, it is needed - everyone needs to grow and re-evaluate life and this is Beth's way to deal with her past, present and future so please don't give up on her, me and this fic. Everyone's points of views will always differ and I understand if you don't agree with mine in this fic =)

Anything in _Italics are thoughts_

* * *

><p><strong>Loved Back to Life<strong>

**Chapter 7**

* * *

><p>The traffic light turns red, Rick pulls up at the junction. Shane was complaining about the woman he is dating, all women he has dated in fact;<p>

_"__Never met a woman who knew how to turn off a light, born to think the switch only goes one way….ON!_

Rick shook his head half listening, one hand on the steering wheel and elbow leaning out the window, his arm feeling the warmth from the sun on the cold early morning.

_"__Come home, house all lit up"_ Shane continues.

Rick watches the pedestrians cross the road, Father Gabriel waves Good Morning on his way to Sunday Sermon and Rick nods returning the gesture. Shane was still moaning but seeing a pretty girl cross he couldn't help but quietly whistle and begins to appreciate the woman form, his eyes clearly had found his next target. Rick rolls his eyes ignoring him and looks in the direction of the hospital watching the comings and goings of the hospital staff and patients.

He sees a girl with short dark hair walking out being comforted by a young Korean man he recognised meeting at the diner a couple of weeks ago, jogging his memory _"Maggie and Glenn Rhee"_ Following behind, he sees Beth and her brother with his arm protectively around her shoulder and there were Medical Doctors waving them goodbye, her brother was carrying a box in his other hand. Looking closer, Beth was carrying something white held up to her chest. Rick takes off his shades and looks up at the hospital remembering that Zach had started working there before the accident. He looks back at Beth, she was carrying Zach's white coat, she must have been there collecting his belongings.

A car behind begins beeping getting Rick's attention back at the road ahead seeing the green light, he puts the car in gear. Shane pops his head out the window and in his Shane way signals to the driver to shut up and wait or else he'll get out the car. The beeping abruptly stops. Rick puts his shades back on and drives off taking a quick look into his wing mirror as the vision of group becomes smaller. Beth had her head laid on Maggie's shoulder who was hugging her whilst the guys were putting Zach's belonging into the back of the car.

Rick strides into Headquarters.

"Oh come on Officer Grimes, we promise we'll behave!" Isaac protests.

"Rick, we'll do anythin' help us out! If my dad finds out he's gonna freak out and send me to that military school he's been threatenin' about!" Jacob says staring wide eyed through the bars "and d'ya have to lock us in this cell?" Jacob whines shaking the bars as if he could bend them apart and squeeze through.

Rick smirks putting his hat down on his desk and picks up his messages, looking for a message from Lori which wasn't there, he sighs.

"I have to agree with your old man, you're not exactly helpin' yourselves, keep doin' what you do and I'll keep lockin' you up and treatin' you like the idiots you both are. What in the world possessed you to pull that prank?" Rick tried not to smile remembering Shane did the same prank about 17 years ago.

_Shane was pissed with the coach who wouldn't let them play in the big game that week and decided to play a prank on him and Rick got dragged into it. Shane stuck a potato into the Coach's truck's exhaust. He remembers him and Shane watching from behind the bleachers as the Coach started the engine, pressed down on the gas, the engine roaring and then the truck backfired. There was a loud bang that echoed through the car park and travelled all the way over to the football pitch to the bleachers. People were ducking, diving, screaming, running thinking a gun was being shot. The smoke and fumes were everywhere. They had gotten into a lot of trouble that day "ahh the stupid days" Rick thought._

Rick wasn't looking forward to dealing with this, this was the last thing he needed for the end of his shift. Carl was coming back home after spending his first weekend with Lori whose living with her parents in Macon. This would be the first time he and Lori would come face to face since she left. She wasn't there when Rick had dropped Carl off on Friday night, she had told her parents that she wasn't ready to deal with him, Rick had wanted to speak to her but she didn't show up and stayed out the house.

He left a message on Lori's cell phone to find out if they had left and that was hours ago and she still hadn't called back, it irritated him but he wasn't going to show it when she turned up, he was too busy missing Carl. He didn't know how he endured being away from him for the few days and those days went painstakingly slow. He didn't want to go home to a dark and empty house, he wasn't sure how they would keep up with this arrangement, he had hoped Lori would move closer or back to King County which meant Carl could be near him and he'd only be a walk away. He was considering to offer Lori to move back into the house and he'd find an apartment close by, that's if she'd move back to town.

He pulls out his cell phone from his pocket for the hundredth time and just as he does he receive a text message from Lori saying she was running late and will be there before 9pm, he looks at the clock and its 5pm. He slumps into his seat pinching the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut, Carl had to be up early for school, it would be past his bedtime and he wouldn't get any time with him tonight.

Isaac and Jacob's bickering breaks Rick's thoughts.

"Linda has already called your folks and Coach Ford is on his way down here so you both better think of a reason why he shouldn't press charges and don't think he's gonna go easy on you."

The boys sit on the bench with their elbows on their knees, Jacob has his face buried in his hands. Rick felt bad for them but they'd have to learn what was an innocent prank and one that was going to get you into a whole lot of trouble, they were lucky the prank didn't go wrong and nobody was hurt.

"You gotta admit it was funny and he had it coming". Isaac laughed and Jacob couldn't help and burst out laughing.

"Did you see his face, I've been wantin' to do that since Shane told us he did it back in the day…come on Deputy Grimes, you've got to admit it was hilarious, Ford is so in our faces, barking orders, he's lost it, he thinks he's still in the army!" Isaac snorts

"I've heard Shane tell that story about a hundred times and how you both used to get into trouble and you laugh every time!" Jacob points to Rick and grins.

Rick looks at them and the boys were laughing and the corners of Rick's lips creased upwards remembering past times and Coach Ford was an arrogant so and so and he did remind him of his Coach when he was in High School.

"Well Shanes not the best role model and this just proves it, your fathers are headin' this way" Rick nods towards the window, two cross looking men in suits were marching towards the station.

"Rick!" Jacob stares at him to help.

"Actions have reactions, consequences, that's life, get ready to face the music, sorry boys, you're on your own on this one." Rick tilts his head and stands up hearing the door buzz open.

"We are soo dead!" they both mumble.

"That you are" Rick mumbles back.

Jacob was in trouble and there was nothin' Rick could do to help Shane's little cousin. If he continued on this path, he was going to become a mini replica of his older cousin. Shane still acted like a teen and Rick was always there to keep him in line, the boys were both irresponsible, it was time they took responsibility for their actions, they'd be graduating in a years' time and they didn't need to get criminal records, wouldn't look good on college applications or job applications, they were both smart but common sense wise - dumb.

After half an hour of mediating, Rick managed to negotiate punishments that the adults were happy with and Coach Ford agreed not to press charges. It was agreed that the boys would pay for the car to be repaired and would be the Coach's helpers every Saturdays and school holidays which involved a lot of voluntary work for the community which the Coach would supervise. Rick thought that maybe Abraham could drill some practicality into them, he was a hard-nut in your face ex-soldier but he did care what happened to his students. Ironically, Abraham was an out of control teen so he probably could empathise with the teens and help point them in the right direction. Rick shakes hands with the men and escorts them to the door. Isaac and Jacob follow behind with their heads down, Rick pats them both on the backs as they leave _"You got off lightly, just follow the rules and the punishment will be over sooner." _and they both nod following their parents, they would get lectures when they got home and Rick knew it.

Rick goes back to his desk and begins to finish his reports whilst he waits for Carl and Lori to arrive, it was going to be a long three and a half hours.

"You've got all this to come with Carl" Helen the elderly secretary whose been there since Rick's dad was a Sheriff says whilst handing Rick a coffee.

Rick frowns and rubs his face. Helen caresses Rick's shoulder "I was jokin', Carl is a darlin', you don't need ta worry about that boy, he is such a sweet good boy, he takes after his daddy." Helen says fondly remembering Rick when he was a little boy who'd accompany his dad to work when school was out.

"Thanks Helen" Rick smiles putting his hand on Helen's and she whispers to him like when he was a kid all those years ago…

"I hid some treats for you in your drawer" she winks at him and goes back to her filing. Rick opens his drawer and smiles seeing the box which contains the iced doughnuts she hid from the others.

Rick gets up out of his chair and walks to look out the window still holding his mug. Leon rushes past and bumps into Rick making him spill most of his coffee on to the floor _"Sorry Rick, I'm in a rush!" _Leon runs off and Rick quietly curses thankful the boiling beverage didn't go over him. He puts his mug down backing away slowly to get something to clean up the mess. The door clicks open, turning around in time a girl nearly slips walking in but Rick is quick as he rushes forward and catches her in his arms and she grabs hold of his neck and shirt. He looked down at the stunned blue eyes and he smiles apologetically.

"You ok?" Rick asks helping her to stand straight.

Beth nods yes.

"I'm sorry, I spilled my drink, you sure you're ok?"

"Honestly, I'm fine" Beth promises giggling straightening her dress and pushing her loose hair from out of her eye.

Rick watches her for a long moment, Beth looked different to the times he'd met her before, not the lost and beaten girl a couple of months ago. Her face was free of tears, stress, depression, her eyes weren't as lost like they were and she had colour to her face. She was wearing a pretty pink dress, denim jacket and cowboy boots, dressed to go out. She looked at ease and not an emotional wreck like the times she had been. Realising he was staring a beat too long, his eyes fall on what was in her hands. Beth noticing him staring, speaks.

"This I believe belongs to you - your jacket, you leant it to me on that night…I forgot I had it until I was sortin' through clothes and stuff. I wanted to return it back to you before I leave. It's gettin' cold and you've probably been missin' it." Beth says handing his jacket over to him.

Rick doesn't move his gaze from hers when he take a hold of his jacket.

"Before you leave?" Rick asks narrowing his eyes in confusion stepping closer to her.

"I'm leavin' tomorrow. I had a call from my brother-in-law whose in the Army, his friend works for a Humanitarian Charity who move alongside the Army. I met with him a couple of weeks ago in Atlanta, they require urgent humanitarian assistance; doctors, nurses and teachers to go out to Afghanistan for a couple of months and then to Ethiopia. Me and Zach had put our names down a while ago and then we got jobs here as we didn't hear back but they finally gave the go ahead. My friend Amy, she's a nurse is goin' in place of Zach."

"Afghanistan…Ethiopia? Rick repeats looking at Beth in alarm "Beth, have you thought about this, these are dangerous countries, you could get hurt, ill…" Rick throws his jacket on the table and puts both hands on her arms "What about your teachin' job here?"

"I had to turn down the job when Zach died, they needed someone straight away and your right, they are dangerous, I thought about this long and hard, I'm goin' in with my eyes open, they need help and aid and support. I'm not tied down to anythin' or anyone, I make the perfect candidate to go and offer my services to people who need it. I've always wanted to go out and help and it's about time I actually did!" Beth hopes Rick understands and would see it from her point of view but she feels like she's having the same conversation she had with her family who had the same worries and concerns.

Rick looks on at Beth trying to digest what she's intending on doing, it was a brave and courageous life decision she was making but for some reason it didn't sit well with him. He'd not known her long but he felt quite protective over her.

Rick had gone into thinking mode, remembering his closest friend, Daryl served a decade in the Army, he'd seen a lot and experienced a lot. There were things they used to talk about, graphic details and then there were times when Daryl would cut off and keep to himself, he never wanted to push his limits about the things that he would not reveal also like the things from his childhood which Rick knew was an abusive environment. Daryl was a tough son of a bitch, he'd grown up in the slums of Georgia but Beth, she was a delicate young woman who grew up on a farm who was protected her whole life and she'd only just buried her fiancé, this could ever make her stronger or completely break her and that worried Rick, the progress she was making was steady but good, any set back, she could be back to square one, he knew he had his own problems which set him back some days but Beth's revelation about her attempted suicide comes into his mind and his mind goes into a spasm attack.

He takes hold of Beth's arm and walks her to the conference room and shuts the door. Beth watches him in bewilderment. He gestures for her to take a seat and he paces in front of her and she watches patiently.

"What does your father, brother, sister say?" Rick is still pacing up and down with his hands on his hips.

"They had the same reaction your havin' right now" Beth points feeling a bit guilty now and wished she'd just handed over his jacket and left him in peace.

"_And you're still goin'?_" he says a little too high pitched, he stops abruptly and looks at her, his eyes frowning, the worry evident on his face.

Beth nods yes "They've finally accepted it and respect my decision."

"Have you told anyone about what you told me in the diner about the glass shard?" Rick watches to see if Beth gives him an honest answer.

"No, you're the only person I told" Beth answered

"You know if they were to find out what you've been through, they'd probably not let you go until they were certain you were one hundred per cent ok?" Rick informs her.

"They know about Zach dying and I told you about that night in confidence and I told you I couldn't go through with it and I will never try to ever again" Beth's eyes hardened when speaking.

"Beth, if somethin' was to happen to you when you're out there and I knew I could have stopped it from happenin' then I would never be able to live with myself!" Rick emphasised this by running his hands down his clean shaven face.

Beth attempts to say something but then changes her mind as soon as she sees the lines forming on his forehead, her earlier smile now upside down, she was now looking anywhere but him. She wasn't expecting Rick to react like this, it should have been a good luck and come back home safe. Rick watches her for a long time, you could literally cut the silence around them with a knife.

Finally finding her voice "Do you think I'm still some naïve little girl, that when a problem arises, I'm gonna break every given opportunity? I admit I made a huge mistake, maybe if you were in my shoes, you'd have done the same or maybe not, our makeup genes are different. I'm physically weak but I have hidden strength in me, everyone has a weak moment but I fought it, cause when it came down to slittin' my wrists and endin' it all in my bathroom, I knew it was wrong! I'm meant to be breathin', livin', makin' it in this world, my parents, brother and sister flashed through my mind, if I ended it, then I would have let them all down and in that one moment I would have murdered my parent's upbringin' and their faith. If I was gonna break, I would have broken on the day Zach died in my arms but I didn't. I wanna live and help others to live, just like how you helped me, I want to be able to do that for someone else, even if it's just one person!" Beth is tryin' to catch her breathing.

Rick tilted his head seeing her change in demeanour and lets out a reluctant sigh, he didn't in all his intentions in giving his opinion, want to upset or anger her. He squats down beside her and places his hand on her entwined hands resting on her lap which had turned white from fidgeting. He places his other hand on the seat's arm rest. He bends his head as in a sign of defeat/surrender.

"I'm sorry," he shakes his head "I know it's known of my business…it's just that I care, I want to make sure you're ok and not makin' a rash decision, we've all made some, I, of all people have in the past." Rick says honestly.

Beth looks down at him and controlling her voice

"I'm accepting that life goes on in this world, there's a whole big wide world and oceans out there and I've never really been out of Georgia, I've not experienced much that I can look back on and be proud of, say to my children and their children, I got out there and made a difference. This gives me some purpose, focus in life, if you know what I mean?"

Rick nods in understanding and they both sit in silence.

"So, you leave tomorrow, that soon huh?" Rick says breaking the silence, her heart was set on this and nothing he was going to say was going to change her mind.

"I do" Beth smiles

"You'll keep in touch, so I know you're ok, message me once in a while whilst your savin' the world?" Rick tries to lighten the mood.

"I'd like that very much" Beth gets up and Rick stands and she hugs him resting her head on his chest. Rick smiles and returns the hug. Rick opens the door for Beth and they walk back to Rick's desk. Leon had tried to peep in to see what was going on but moved back to his desk when he saw Rick coming out.

"If you feel like you need to talk to anyone, at any time, you have my number, my email address, I'll respond back, there's a time differences, so don't think I'm ignorin' or forgotten about you if I don't respond back instantly, but I will…respond back."

Beth touched, nods "You gotta let me know how the Billy Elliott Musical goes, I wanna hear all about it!"

"Carl is lookin' forward to it and you know, so am I!" Rick isn't ashamed to admit.

"I'm glad, music and dance is a part of life, its beautiful you'll see!" Beth looks passionate whilst talking and Rick is pleased to see Beth happy again.

"Would you like a coffee, tea…doughnut?" Rick remembers his treat, walks to his desk and picks up the box and offers one to Beth with a smile.

Beth looks at the box and can't hide the playful grin on her face "I thought cops and doughnuts was all a joke?"

"Ahhh…unfortunately, the cliché is true, we cops do love a doughnut" he laughs.

"No thank you, no deserts before dinner" Beth declines politely laughing along with him. She noticed how handsome he looked when he was smiling and laughing, it suited him, he should do it more she thought.

"You sure? They're good" Rick holds the sweet treat in front of her.

"I'm sure, they smell and look good but I'm meetin' my family for dinner, they wanted to give me a farewell dinner and I chose to go to Vatos Diner, they do the best meatballs and deserts I ever tasted and Maggie said she's gonna order a table full, she's been havin' these cravings lately, so I have to keep my stomach empty til then."

"Well, I hope you enjoy your meal" Rick says closing the box and putting it back down on his table.

"You know, you're more than welcome to come when you finish work, the dinner could go on til midnight? Or, I'm sorry, your son and wife will be waitin' for you?" Beth remembered he couldn't just up and go to her farewell dinner at a drop of a hat.

Rick shakes his head "I've finished my shift. My son is with his mother, she's goin' to be droppin' him off here later tonight, so I'm just catching up with paperwork."

"So, you want to join us?" Beth asks hopefully.

Rick thinks and then seeing her smile, he gives in, it would be nice, he had already met her family and they were genuinely nice people, plus he was suddenly hungry and he agrees managing to widen the smile already on Beth's face.

"Excuse me for a moment" he laughs "I need to let Helen know that I'm leavin' the station."

Rick informs Helen that he would be back by 8.30pm and to message him if Lori turns up earlier than 9pm. He grabs his jacket and opens the door for Beth to exit and he follows her onto the street. They decide to walk the ten minute distance by foot to the diner and Rick fills Beth in on the activities he has planned for Carl and Beth tells him where the best places and prices were to go to. Carl had mentioned that he wanted to go to a Teddy Bear Factory and Beth knew exactly the right place and gave Rick the directions.

"Rick I'm going to tell the counselor about my attempted suicide and he can decide whether I get on that plane or not. I don't want to go and leave you worryin', that wouldn't be right, your a really sweet caring guy and I don't want to take advantage of your kindness... but I am real glad I met you, I'm sure Zach and my Momma sent you into my life as my guardian angel" Beth says smiling watching ahead of her whilst Rick watches from his side and he laughs feeling a bit embarrassed stopping just outside the diner.

"Shall we?" Rick asks holding the door open.

"Lets" Beth answers linking her arm in his and rests her other hand on top and they enter hearing the guests cheering their welcome, the music and laughter exploding around them, The Vatos Crew in their element knowing how to throw a party rush over to the party girl and happy to see Rick joining them pulling off their jackets and giving them a beer each.

"To Beth - may our Florence Nightingale return back to us safely " everyone cheers laughing.

"To you Beth" Rick clinks his bottle on to Beth's.

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><p>AN I struggled to write the thoughts of Beth about the attempted suicide and justifying a few months later going away…it may be a bit too soon but I thought she needed to go away re-evaluate her life, live and experience a little to make her stronger, there will always be struggles in life but sometimes you go through them with family and sometimes with other people and come out stronger, this is my Beth's way with dealing with the loss and recovery in this fic with the kind and supporting conversations she's had with Rick giving her courage to carry on.

I've already written a chapter for Christmas but unfortunately there is a while before Christmas comes up in this story and things happening to the run up to the celebrations, so Christmas won't be for another few chapters…if I had the time, to complete the other chapters, it would have been up so the Christmas Chapter will most likely be up next year sometime. I've been really busy with work so haven't been able to catch up and get the story to that point, I don't want to rush to just get it up and make a mess…hope those reading understand =) xxx

Reviews welcome …


	8. Chapter 8

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:** I want to thank the people who have added me as a favourite, are following, those who are reading and kind thanks to; Emma Kellog, Kaylah, Quest, daneruhl, malzateb, ValeriaGrimes, Atilia Dawn Black, Pretty Racing, Lovergirl24, Genni, terrazas14, Iayvba, DeltaSandman and kevkye who have kindly left me reviews.

Apologies in advance for any spelling and grammatical errors.

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own the Walking Dead or its characters or the song mentioned in this chapter (Naughty Boy's - Home)

**WARNINGS:** **In Afghanistan and child birth.**

I wrote this chapter about a month ago, I was going to post the other night after reading it through again but I fell asleep. Then the incident in Pakistan happened =( I wasn't sure whether to scrap this chapter out completely, I was debating so I've deleted out the violence and graphic details in this chapter. My Prayers and thoughts are with the families and friends who lost someone.

Anything in _Italics are thoughts_

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><p><strong>Loved Back to Life<strong>

**Chapter 8**

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><p><span><strong>Afghanistan – Month 3<strong>

Beth wipes the sweat off the young woman's brow with a cold clothe whilst she lays in her lap panting. They can hear the gun shots in the distant hills and she grabs hold of Beth's hand crying, the noises coming closer.

"Beth, ahhhhh!"

"I'm here Sayarah, I'm here!" Beth grabs hold of her hand "Breathe" Beth demonstrates and Sayarah copies nodding her head. "That's it, you're doin' good"

Beth was keeping count of the timings between the contractions and they were now coming every few minutes. Beth checks Sayarah's cervix how Amy showed her and she gasps, it looked fully dilated, the baby was ready to be delivered.

"Amina, go get Amy, your sister is comin'!" Beth says trying to hide her internal panic.

Amina the little six year old nods and runs out the tent, it felt like forever but Beth went back to fanning Sayarah's face and then Amina runs back a minute later clearly out of breath.

"Miss Amy is with Aunty Laylah, baby cousin is also coming" Amina says worried looking at her mother in pain and Beth's face drains white in a flash.

"_Beth!_" a voice comes from outside the tent and she sees a man's shadow holding a rifle in hand.

"Josh, I need Amy, the baby is coming!"

"Beth, she's in the middle of a delivery, you're gonna have to deliver the baby" Josh shouts from outside the tent and she lets out a nervous laugh as this sounded absurd but the tone in Josh's voice was nothing but.

"I can't, I can't do it by myself, I need…I need help Josh!"

Beth is almost crying but doesn't. She's helped Amy a couple of times, just assisting and watching her, the other midwives and village women. She was only there for moral support to the expected mother holding her hand in place of the father and the one time she had to help turn a baby around as it was a breech birth and assist pull the baby out but there were other people there to help if she couldn't do it. The first time she froze in her spot and then threw up after the delivery.

"Beth, you and Amy are it, there's nobody else, I can't come in and help" Josh says regretfully and she can hear the seriousness in her bother-in-laws voice.

Beth looks up at the shadow realising she's going to have to deliver this baby herself. She calls Amina over and places her mother's hand in hers.

"Hold your Ammi's (mom's) hand honey" Beth says and Amina nods taking over wiping her mother's forehead and Beth climbs out the tent. The heat was unbearable all day but as night was falling it began to cool down. Her sun burnt body glistening from the sweating.

"Josh, I can't do this, I've helped Amy a few times but I can't do this myself, I'm not a doctor, I'm not a nurse, what if somethin' goes wrong, you gotta help me, please!"

Her wide eyes were bloodshot red from the stress and her stress tick below her right eye began to thump slightly, she started getting this during the last year at college in her finals and this was feeling like another major test in her life but one that was a matter of life or possible death(s).

Josh throws his rifle over his shoulder and gently grabs both Beth's shoulders and pleads with her _"I can't come in there and help, we have to respect their wishes, if it gets complicated then I'll come in but men aren't allowed in the delivery room, you understand Bethy? I need to know I can count on ya?"_ he's watching Beth praying she won't lose her nerve and freak out.

A bang erupts in the sky and Josh's eyes snap in the direction of the sound. He grabs his binoculars to take a better look and Beth grabs hold of his arm flinching from the noise as she gulps as if she's just swallowed it. They can see the smoke a long distances away but worrying the fighting doesn't make it down to them.

"Shit! I gotta go check the perimeter, we've gotta protect you, Amy and these people, and then get them to a hospital. You understand, I really need your help Bethy, can ya help me?" Josh asks, he doesn't want to leave but the shooting was getting nearer and he and some of the men had to go check out their surroundings. Beth, Amy and these people were his responsibility and he'd promised Hershel and his parents that he'd always keep Beth close and protect her. Beth hesitantly nods at him understanding his predicament and him to hers. He gives her a hug and an encouraging smile not liking to leave her to get on with it but he had to follow protocol.

Their mission had been to get to a village 10 miles away with emergency medicine, water and food when they stumbled across the little camp site a day ago. Noticing the pregnant women, they stayed back to help, they had decided to take them with them to the hospital but the women couldn't be moved and then the shooting started in the hills. They'd radioed back to base and confirmed they would camp there and be a day behind schedule, they gave co-ordinates so they could be tracked.

Beth stood there watching Josh running and hand signalling to his men to follow and scout the area to remain undetected. Josh had taught her their squad's standard operating procedures as it was at times required when communicating to each other in vulnerable situations. She understood what Josh was communicating to his men and the seriousness of the situation. She felt like she was having an out of body experience as if she was watching in from the outside. Up until now, she had been protected by high walls, heavily guarded towns and villages and she thinks of home, of Maggie announcing her pregnancy at her leaving dinner, she'd found out that day when they'd all gone to collect Zach's belongings she was a month pregnant but she and Glenn kept it to themselves until they'd gotten her through the morning. Beth had felt guilty, she should have been there with her sister at the doctor's appointment.

Beth had wondered how she'd missed the signs. Her sister's cravings for all things sugary and sweet, Maggie never had a sweet tooth preferring savoury treats and her emotional state…Maggie was never a crier, she was the toughest person Beth knew, she only cried when their mother died and recently when it came to her(Beth). She had then put Maggie's emotional outbursts down to the emotional grief for her loss and then the sudden announcement she had volunteered to go to Afghanistan and Ethiopia, it had felt like a rash decision and she wanting to accompany her but being turned down, Maggie freaked out, she was more hot tempered and it took everyone to hold her down to calm her but she just cried, how she missed the clues Beth thought. It all had fallen into place when Maggie told her, Maggie was in fact pregnant and hormones were everywhere, Beth leaving to a dangerous country and she being pregnant was too much to handle. Beth hugged her tightly and pinkie swore to her like when they were kids that she'd be back in time to hold her hand during the birth. It was just enough to lift Maggie's spirits, Beth was mothering her and seeing Maggie's smile appear, Beth screamed with joy in the middle of the diner. It made her laugh seeing the men's reactions; her father jumping out of his chair making it smack against the wall, her brother forgetting his manors pushing everyone out the way, The Vatos grabbing baseball bats from behind the counter and Rick's eyes snapping in the direction of the scream, seeing the gathering people sprinting from his stool whipping out his gun and clicking the safety off in one quick swoop readily pointing and stopping in front of the girls. They all stood around the girls open mouthed not knowing what's wrong seeing them crying and jumping up and down round in circles. Glenn relaxed happily taking a swig of his beer knowing the reason and counting "1, 2, 3..."

_"__Your goin' to be a mommy…daddy a granddaddy…Shawn an over protective uncle and I'm goin' to be an aunty, an aunty!….ahhhhhh hehehe!"_

They just about made out Beth's screams.

The men covered their ears as the other women joined in the screamin', they all cried and celebrated, it was an emotionally charged night. They had comforted Maggie who admitted to being scared and frightened of the pregnancy, wishing their mother to be there. Beth reminded her big sister, their mother was always with them, that she had a loving family there for her and a team of medical professionals monitoring her from now and up to the birth and that comforted her of her fears and then Beth thinks of Sayarah, she didn't have any of that, she only had her, her husband was somewhere with his men checking an area. The reality of her standing in the middle of nowhere with 8 soldiers scattered in every direction securing their position from being attacked and a small group of travellers hits her especially when she hears Sayarah's piercing screams snapping her out of her thoughts and to the realisation she was going to have to put aside her fears and help the woman through birth, she was going to do everything she could to get her through this.

She rushes back into the room pulling her shirt off and putting on surgical gloves. She sits down in front of Sayarah and pulls her Kaftan up and she freezes seeing the blood. She swallows hard, the sweat pouring down her face thinking she can't do this and she hears a voice whispering into her ear "_You're stronger than you think_" and the flashes of kind blue eyes reassuring her she can do this, she wasn't weak but strong.

A Chopper had circled moments later monitoring the hills and confirmed via the radio that the rebels had retreated back into the mountains and they all sighed with relief.

"See everything's ok Sayarah, god's lookin' out for us, your baby is gonna be safe!"

"Maam, everythin is clear, Lieutenant will be back in 10, do you need anythin'?" a soldier asks.

"No, I got everythin' but when Amy is free, send her in her asap!"

"Roger that Maam."

"Sayarah, when I say push, push" Beth instructs and Sayarah nods repeatedly puffing.

"Ok, push" Beth holds Sayarah's legs.

Sayarah pushes moaning loudly and Amina winces watching, chanting something to herself.

"Good, breathe, breathe" Beth encourages Sayarah "Take a moment, relax and breathe"

Amina wipes her mother's face and fans it.

"Now push again for me, that's it, you're doing great" Beth smiles seeing the head come out and her hand ready underneath the baby's head to support it.

"Again, push" Beth can see the baby's shoulders and Sayarah wants to stop, she says she can't do it anymore.

"**_Yes you can! You can do it!_**" Beth says and her encouraging eyes meet Sayarah's and this spurs her to carry on.

"Now Sayarah, one last push when I say and this time push as hard as you can for me, everythin' you got! that's it, that's it, pushhh!" Beth tries not to cry.

Sayarah pushes with every bit of strength she has clenching her teeth together, lifting her body up slightly, her cries fill the room and then she falls back panting on the pillow as the baby slips out and Beth bundles the baby into the clean towel and wipes her down, checking the baby's airway is clear. She looks at the baby waiting for her to cry, her heart pounding like the drums she heard at a parade in the last village they visited. "_Why isn't she crying?" _Beth panics to herself. She closes her eyes praying and then the wailing cries in the room bring tears of joy to her when she opens them. Beth places the baby into Sayarah's arms who begins to lull her.

"Here's your mommy, see, she already knows who you are"

Beth moves closer to Sayarah to watch mother and baby and she beams at Amina who is in awe to see her baby sister. All three are laughing together that they'd done it together. Beth was truly amazed, this was one of the scariest and toughest moments she's gone through and a beautiful experience at the same time. Amy does this job for a living, she had a new found respect for doctors, nurses and midwives. Zach, Shawn, Amy and her father would be proud of her, she was beginning to feel proud of herself for once.

Beth checks the baby is breathing properly and then she clamps and cuts the cord. She lets Sayarah get familiar with her daughter watching how they have instantly bonded.

Amy comes rushing into the tent and seeing the baby, she smiles and looks at Beth proudly giving her a wink. Amy congratulates Sayarah and takes the baby for a moment to examine her briefly to make sure there are no obvious problems or abnormalities. Satisfied, she thoroughly cleans the baby keeping her from getting cold and then hands the baby back into the bosom of Sayarah. She moves to the end of the bed and pulls up the blanket and she checks Sayarah to see that all is ok. Beth cleans her hands and Amina runs and sits in her lap hugging her.

"That's my sister" she grins and Beth hugs and kisses her head.

After nursing the baby, Amy and Beth come out the tent feeling exhausted but looking victorious, they had delivered two healthy babies. The men move closely waiting for permission and Amy gestures for Sayarah's husband to go in. He was too eager to meet his daughter and see his wife, he almost forgets himself as he runs past them but remembering turns and stops in front of Beth and thanks her "Shukriya, Shukriya!" Beth gives him a toothy grin and he rushes into the now open tent and they leave the little family to get acquainted to the new member of their family.

They both go and wash their hands and splash their faces with the cool water, it felt delicious on their skin whilst it ran down their faces and over their bodies, they both really wanted to run and jump into the silver lake like the one back at home on the farm. Instead they sat under the bushy trees to get shade. They flopped down leaning on each other and watching the families and the miracles that happened out in the middle of know where, it all brings it home and they begin to miss their families and friends.

"You think when we get to the village they'll have any phones, internet?" Beth asks Amy whose fanning herself with a banana leaf.

"I hope so, I'm actually missing hearing Andrea's voice, hard to believe right?" she replies and Beth agrees. "I hope I get a little private time with Josh once he stops and takes a breather." Amy says looking around obviously for Josh and they both burst out laughing.

"Just be careful, we're here to do a job, don't forget that, Josh takes his job seriously" Beth points out.

"Don't worry mother, you're talking to a nurse here, we're all professionals. Besides he's only kissed me twice. I think we're gonna take it slow, get to know each other." She shrugs.

Beth raises her eyebrows at Amy's self-restraint, she earned the title man-eater back in their first year in college after a boyfriend cheated on her, she just wanted to have fun and never really had a proper steady relationship after that. This was different, maybe being out here was changing her perspective on love, life and sharing it with someone long term? Beth liked the idea of Amy and Josh, two of her favourite people, they'd be good together.

"It's not as if there's any privacy to do anythin' anyway and Josh is too into being Action Man remindin' me there's always protocol to follow. Once we get privacy though, I'm gonna show him what he's missin'." Amy grins mischievously and Beth laughs shaking her head.

Finally settling down for the night, Beth and Amy share the temporary bed made on the ground. Whilst Amy snores Beth thinks about everything she's been through, she felt inspired to write in her diary which would be published in the joint diary being kept by all the volunteers.

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><p><span><strong><em>1<em>****_st_****_ April 2014 _**

_I set out on a journey to find where I fit in this world to help where I could and make a little difference to someone's life but this is mind-blowing. As soon as I stepped off the plane, it felt like I stepped into a different world where the people I've met have become my friends, people dear to me. _

_I close my eyes and I can picture their faces. Abdul, his naughty little face, he could play hide and seek and chase for hours if given the chance, even the grumpy soldier (not gonna name anyone but if you read this, you'll know who you are and secretly smile) couldn't help but play along. _

_Farrah the girl who'd been injured in a roadside IED a year ago is learning how to walk on her new prosthetics that were donated to her. She's getting faster and soon will be outrunning her brother who runs faster than any kid I've seen. She amazes me with her courage and determination to beat this and not let it beat her. Her attitude is so positive with everything she's going through, truly a brave inspirational girl. _

_Kamal taking care of his daughters, all five of them, his wife and their mother died of hunger. A mother out here feeds her children first and eats whatever is left, sometimes there is no food. I lost my momma when I was a teenager, in different circumstance but I understand their pain and what it's like missing that important figure in my life. Kamal lost his wife, his support, I have an understanding here also, I pray he continues being strong for himself as well as for his daughters and he finds some happiness again. He gets up every day and does manual labour but never complains, only looking to keeping his girls safe and reminding them their mother watches over them. _

_And then there's Sayarah, a brave woman forced to flee her home at full term of her pregnancy. We were on a mission through the wilderness and took a detour because of debris covering our path and had stopped along the way when we saw a makeshift campsite. I believe, we were meant to meet on that road to help. I delivered a baby today, me - little Beth Green was part of bringing a life into this world, I cannot describe the feeling, I'm still in shock and buzzing inside. Sayarah__and her husband gave me the honour of choosing a name for their daughter, I looked at her and the name I picked for the beautiful girl is Zahrah which means__Flower/Beauty/Star. She's just perfect! Moments later, I just watched the little family together, the vision so perfect. This is something I wish for in the future._

_There are too many names and faces to mention who have touched my life in this beautiful country. I'm starting to understand the life the people are all forced to live who have been forced out of their homes and just changes of circumstances in their lives. They just need a helping hand, we all need one._

_The books and the pencils we have provided, the tuitions we give is like the seed for the parent's dreams to sprout and flourish of seeing their children get an education and one day amount to more than the people on the Oxfam posters. Back at home it is mandatory all children up to the age of 18 attend school. We could help rebuild schools and a community so this could be an option for them too._

_With all the good that I've seen, I've seen heartache along the way too. I've cried and comforted strangers. The losses are great in numbers, when you see what I have, you can't do anything but be there for them, being the silent strength. Picking up a shovel to dig a grave and help bury the departed has become a part of life here, something I will never get used to and never want anyone get used to. Showing that even when they think all is over, when they begin to believe they are alone and nobody cares, it's up to us to show they're not alone and we do care. _

_I personally know the loss of loved ones, sometimes it takes for a stranger to reach out and comfort you to help grieve to carry on. I set out on this journey not knowing what to expect but I smile thinking of those who helped me along the way to help me grow as a person. The people here making me open my eyes and the people back at home reminding me that I can do anything. I'm sure I have a guardian angel or angels watching out for me assuring me to reach for my dreams. We all have a purpose, a destiny in this world, my destiny brought me to Afghanistan, I wonder where it will take me next...I'm going to embrace whatever comes next and this country and the people will now always be a part of me. _

_This past year had been the happiest, toughest in my life but is becoming the most significant and the start of my new life to finally begin. I miss home and everyone, I can't wait to return but Afghanistan has become my second home and I'll come back again one day. I was listening to this song on the little radio and sums up how we on the road are feeling:-_

_"__Red door ends the driveway on the street where we met  
>I take a thousand memories on the road with me<br>So we never forget  
>It's been a good year, will be a long day<br>Before we lay our heads down to rest  
>And if those tears come rolling down, I'll pull you close to me<br>And tell you we'll be back there again_

Won't be a long time, time  
>Won't be a long time<br>Till we get back home

We've had good times, it's been real love  
>And I know it's hard to move on!<br>But don't place your sentimens in the things we left  
>It's when we're together, we're home<p>

Won't be a long time, time  
>Won't be a long time<br>Till we get back home"

_Beth Greene x_

_King County, Georgia_

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><p>Finished writing, she places her pen back in her bag and kisses her family photo placing it back in the protective plastic binding inside the cover. She lovingly strokes the other pictures of the people she's met. A picture falls into her lap, picking it up she smiles. She printed the picture from an email she received when she was near a computer a week ago and her smile broadens. The picture was a selfie of Rick with an arm around Carl whose holding a big hand written note saying "Thank You Beth, We Loved The Show!" both laughing into the camera with a massive Billy Elliott poster behind them. This was the first time she had seen Rick out of his uniform in jeans and shirt, a normal guy hanging out with his son and he looked really happy. Beth could see the resemblance of father and son, their smiles were the same and Carl had Rick's dark slightly wavy hair. She loved the way Rick's chin was resting on Carl's shoulder whilst crouching down and Carl held the poster which they must have made themselves last minute which was a really sweet gesture. She loved the picture so much she now kept it with her family photo and others under the protective plastic cover.<p>

When she gets near a computer she thought, she'll email and tell Rick about baby Zahrah, she'll miss out the part about the rebels fighting in the hills, Josh's mission to shoot anyone who tried to attack or rob them. They'd been keeping in contact with each other as promised, an email here and there when Beth could get near a computer, it wasn't often but it was nice to see a pending message to be read from him and her family.

It was nice hearing about Rick and Carl's day in Atlanta, a trip Rick said was desperately needed and helped him bond with Carl and talk about any insecurities they were having about the whole separation. Carl had told Rick he wanted to stay in King County with him, he didn't want to move to Macon with his mom, if he had to leave, then he would leave and join the circus - that was sad and funny at the same time. Beth didn't know much about Rick's separation from his soon to be ex-wife, she didn't want to pry but Rick had mentioned it in the email probably thinking he had told her about it. She decided she wouldn't ask many questions, if it came up in conversation, she'll let him speak, she'll listen and respect his privacy and only say anything if need be, it wasn't her place to put an opinion on someone without knowing the full facts or the person and it could backfire on her later if feelings between Rick and his wife changed at a later date, Rick would most definitely remember if she was to bad mouth his wife and probably end their friendship they'd made.

Rick had mentioned he bumped into Maggie and Glenn at the dinner, Maggie was slightly showing now and she was doing good. She was sending Glenn to the diner to pick up the deserts she loved and Rick had on the occasions been in there had lunch or dinner with Glenn and said he enjoyed Glenn's company. Beth was happy to hear news of Maggie she was keeping in contact with everyone but it was nice to hear it from Rick and happy that he and Glenn have formed a friendship, her brother-in-law Glenn is a great guy, he could make anyone laugh and he was really really clever. She also liked Rick's little messages and advice's he'd sign at the end of an email, they were always sweet and he'd always say to look after herself.

She closes her journal putting it back into her bag, laying down sleep was calling her.

"Night daddy, Shawn, Maggie, Glenn and Rick and Carl."

She shuts her eyes and falls asleep after the long and tiring but fulfilling day.

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><p><strong>AN: This chapter was probably too long? This was a Beth centred chapter, I Joined 2 chapters into 1 as I'll be busy with the holidays. I had hoped to update before Christmas but if I don't, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year – Stay Safe ! **

**Loving gorgeous Beth and dashing Rick (Brick) as always xxx**

Reviews...


	9. Chapter 9

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:** Happy Holidays - Thank you so much for reading and the guys leaving me comments. Comments really do inspire/motivate me to keep posting and I really appreciate those being left!

Apologies in advance for any spelling and grammatical errors.

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own the Walking Dead or its characters

**WARNINGS: **Little Carl needs a hug and Rick needs a Friend - Cue Beth - A little bit of school bullying and feelings

Anything in Italics are thoughts

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><p><strong>Loved Back to Life<strong>

**Chapter 9**

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><p>Rick parks his patrol car into a space in the school's car park. He grabs his hat as he gets out pressing the button on his key ring for the doors to automatically lock.<p>

He looks at his watch it's 3.50pm, school had finished twenty minutes ago. He had gotten a call from Helen that the school had called to say that Carl had gotten into a fight with another child in class and that the teacher wanted to speak with him and arranged for a meeting at 4pm. Rick had to arrange time off work, the Sheriff was more than agreeable and told Rick to take the rest of the day off, he deserved a break from the stress he and Carl were under and he would see him tomorrow telling him to take it easy on Carl. Children stuck in the middle of a divorce was an ugly affair. Rick called Jenny and told her that there was an issue with Carl at school and she didn't need to collect him as is their arrangement, he'll call her later once he finds out what happened.

He presses the intercom.

"Hello, may I help?" a chirpy voice comes through the intercom.

"Afternoon this is Deputy Rick Grimes, Carl Grime's father, I have an appointment with his teacher, Miss Karen Jones at 4pm." Rick answers.

"Oh yes, I'll buzz you right through Deputy Grimes, please follow the white footprints on the floor to reception."

The door buzzes and he holds the door open for the stragglers leaving the building and walks in.

"Hey Marshall BraveStarr! What brings you to this enlightening part of town at this time of the day – shouldn't you be out chasing bank robbers?" she says looking at her watch.

Rick turns round seeing Tara in her traditional grunge-rock attire, her hair in pigtails and he gives her a sorry smile for not seeing her, his mind was preoccupied with thoughts of Carl and what his teacher was going to say.

"I've got an appointment with Carl's teacher, I better get goin' before I'm late and get into trouble" Rick jokes, his laugh was more of a disheartened laugh and Tara catches on.

"You ok BraveStarr – you seem down?…downer than down!"

Tara frowned, not liking Rick's beaten-up look again. He had made some progress months ago, he was laughing and joking when he attended the farewell dinner for the sad lonely pretty girl she remembered. He was having occasional lunch and dinner with her brother-in-law, the cool Korean guy with the assortment of baseball caps and Converse Sneakers to match. They'd be talking about movies, electronics, he was some type of engineer, computer buff and they'd catch up on mysterious girl's treks through the Middle East or was it South Asia she wondered trying to remember as Rick had been keeping note of where she was, it was some place different every week. He was actually quite happy and now he's back to being lost and depressed again she thought.

"I'm fine Tara - Meghan." Rick smiles and playfully pulls the little girl's braided pigtail and she giggles hiding behind her aunt's back.

Tara narrows her eyes and looks up at Rick, she'll let him go but next time she'll see what his mood is like and then she'll try and find out what's up, he never reveals any emotional stuff to anyone, he's the private type who keeps it to himself but she'll try either way. He could get cross and tell her to get lost but she knew he'd come around with some of her witty humour and if all fails, she'll do the one girly thing she knew that would get him to forgive her…cry like a girl. Rick Grimes never liked to see a woman in distress. She nods ok and then holds out her closed fist, Rick somewhat amused lightly taps his fist on to hers.

"That was a really weak fist bump man! You'll have to do better next time…well I'll see ya at the diner some time, bye…say bye Meghan."

"Bye" Meghan giggles holding her doll to her face and they both leave as Meghan skips along holding Tara's hand and waving her doll at Rick and he waves back.

He stands there watching. He always wanted a little girl like Meghan happily waving imagining his daughter saying _"bye daddy see ya later, love you"_ holding on to Carl's hand as they entered the school together waving to him and him waving back. It was just a fantasy now. He lets out a weary sigh and follows the white footprints on the floor. He signs in at reception and is shown to Carl's classroom. He looks at his watch 4pm and takes a seat outside the room to be called in.

"Rick?" a deep gruff voice comes from his left.

Rick stands up seeing Daryl rushing down the corridor still in his SWAT uniform.

"Daryl? What are you doin' here?"

"School left a message on my cell phone said they tried to get hold of ya but couldn't and as I'm down as guardian, could I come down and speak to Carl's teacher…he's been in a fight?" Daryl answers scratching the back of his neck but the last part is more of a question than an answer - not believing it.

Rick sits back down taking his hat off and placing it in his lap and then rubs the stubbles on his face like he does when stressed.

"Yeah, I got the message, Helen called it through the radio. I had my cell off as I was makin' an arrest when they tried to get hold of me." Rick looks back up to Daryl standing above him with his arms crossed. "You can get back to work, you're all suited up, anything major?" he gestures to the gloves and helmet in his hand.

"Aggravated robbery, stick up at a Diner in the county over. Third one this year, robbery went south, owner called their bluff and the perps held the waitress hostage with knife to her throat and gun pointed at the diners." Daryl replies and Rick listens.

"Robbery's gotta be linked to the others and connected with that gang from Woodbury,"

"How'd ya know?" Rick asks remembering he had read and heard of the stick ups and Guillermo had mentioned Woodbury in a conversation months ago.

"Got an informant on the inside sayin' the group's recruitin' and have the same tattoos on their shoulders that the gang are known to get once initiated. I shot one of the perps in the arm, he was about to fire. He had the gang's tattoo on his shoulder. The leader calls himself _The Governor_ some type of whack-job loan shark preys on small businesses, gives them loans and amps up the interest. When they can't pay, he sends a message and they turn up with guns and knives threatenin' and take what's owed to them. Can't prove nothin' yet, nobody's been able to connect them, he's sly… once those kids get interrogated, maybe one will slip up." Daryl says watching the classroom door and Rick digests the information whilst also focusing on the door.

"Need you to send me all info on the cases, could make their way here, need to be prepared in case" Rick says thinking about all the small shops and diners. He didn't want these thugs making their way into his county. He made a mental note to contact his friends at Linden County Sheriff's Department and maybe they could join forces in tackling this up and coming gang before they got powerful and try and take over their jurisdictions. They were small counties with small forces and anything was possible. He'll definitely have to look into this. Another problem to add to his growing list of worries.

The continue to wait. Daryl remembered how much he hated school, they made him feel suffocated, brought back bad memories. He looks around uncomfortable at the environment becoming irritated at the length of time they had been waiting. 4pm meant 4pm, it was now 4.10pm.

"Carl ain't no bully, must have been provoked!" he says to himself and starts to pace impatiently, the narrow corridor walls felt like they were closing in on him "What's takin' the teacher so god damn long!" Daryl bangs on the classroom door in frustration.

"Daryl, calm down and take a seat! - it's gotta be a mistake" Rick motions for him to take a seat but before Daryl does, they hear a woman's voice call out to come in. Rick stands up and opens the door and Daryl follows in behind.

"Finally!" Daryl grunts and Rick turns round giving him a warning look to behave and Daryl holds up his hands in surrender and nods for Rick to go in.

"Miss Jones will be here in a moment." A woman says struggling to close a stiff window, finally reaching it and pulling it shut, she hums in triumph and climbs down off the chair.

Her heels click the floor and she's straightening her skirt and pushing her long braid out of her face. Rick watches her movements as a distraction whilst waiting for the teacher to arrive. He begins to look away and then she turns around, when she finally does, Rick does a double take, his tensed face breaks into an animated smile. Daryl was also watching the woman, she didn't look like the old battle-axe hag teachers he had, she looked young and innocently nice reminding him of the fictional teacher Miss Honey from the book Matilda he used to read as a kid in the library. He read that book countless times relating to Matilda's life in some ways but his was a much more violent and darker version and then his thoughts are interrupted. From the corners of his eyes, he sees Rick stepping forward and notices the change in his friend's body language and the smile on his face he's not seen in months, he was now confused staring back at Beth who had caused this reaction from the dejected deputy.

"Beth?" Rick says in surprise

Beth's head snaps up recognising the voice and then seeing Rick her reaction matches his.

"Rick! Oh My God, it's so good to see you!"

Beth rushes and throws her arms around his neck swaying whilst hugging him and Rick hugs her back. She's giggling, they pull apart and stand opposite to each other, both now slightly embarrassed but smiling. Beth was just happy to see him, he could tell and he was happy to see her.

"What are you doin' here?" Rick asks almost immediately "When did you get back, after your last message you said you were stayin' out longer, I just guessed you'd be there for a couple more months?"

"We went back to check on Sayarah and baby Zahrah, she got ill so we went back to Afghanistan for two weeks, Josh made it happen. Mother and daughter are much better now and I got back this week and before I could unpack, Principle Horvath called and asked if I needed a job and if I wanted to substitute for one of the teachers now on Maternity Leave, Miss Jones has been coverin' until they found someone and as I don't have a job, I said yes, so here I am."

"That's great, I'm really happy for you, you look good!" Rick says looking at her.

"And you..you don't! what's wrong Rick?" Beth replies looking at him closely

"I've got an appointment to see Miss Jones, the teacher covering for Mrs Simpson's class, Carl had gotten into a fight. Do you know what happened?" Rick asks after the sudden shock of seeing Beth disappears.

"Oh gosh, Carl – a fight?" Beth sees Rick's restlessness "I don't know, I've only been here since lunch with Principle Horvath and I've just met the other teachers but none of the kids. Karen, I mean Miss Jones said she was expectin' a parent to come in and told me to ask you to wait when you got here. I didn't know it was you, I'll go find her for you."

Daryl coughs watching them both, his eyes just visible from under his bangs observing them both. Beth noticing him looks over and Rick follows her gaze…

"Beth, this is Daryl Dixon, one of my oldest friends" Rick puts a hand on Daryl's shoulder "and Daryl this is Beth Greene, I've told you about Beth."

Daryl nods acknowledging now putting a face to the name but says nothing. His pokerfaced gives off the vibe he was uninterested, Beth took this as her note to take leave and find Karen.

"I'll find Miss Jones and tell her you're here." Beth says practically tiptoeing past Daryl nervously smiling, her heels clinking as she went and Rick gives her an appreciative nod. Rick looks at Daryl.

"What? Sorry to have interrupted the hallmark moment!" Daryl huffs and Rick rolls his eyes walking over to the display wall to look at the drawings.

A couple of minutes later an attractive tall slender woman in her early thirty's with curly brown hair comes into the room. Seeing both men in uniform, she smiles and introduces herself and asks them to take a seat. She sits in her chair at her desk, Daryl and Rick look at the chairs behind them which were only suited for 7 year olds, both decide to sit on a table each.

"Deputy Grimes, I'm sorry to call you out of your busy schedule, I understand this must be an inconvenience to you" shes stopped midway by Rick

"There's no inconvenience caused, this involves my son, I'd like to know what happened, is Carl ok, the message was that he was in a fight?" Rick asks staring Karen straight in the eyes hoping she was going to say it was all a big misunderstanding.

"There was no fight Deputy Grimes, I regret to tell you, Carl struck Patrick at recess, neither boys would say why, Patrick was too traumatised to get a word out and Carl was givin' sass to the recess monitor. The nurse had to tape up Patrick's glasses as the impact of the punch snapped the lenses out of the frame, an eye witness to the altercation confirmed he tried to stop Carl but Carl pushed him and then punched Patrick in the face." Miss Jones says matter-of-factly.

"S'wot ya get for buyin' cheap glasses" Daryl says realising he'd said it out loud.

"Mr Di" Miss Jones gasps

"Daryl" he corrects her, Mr Dixon was what people called his loser dad

"Carl attacked another pupil, we take this seriously, we do not condone bullying. Deputy Grimes, if this had happened on the streets, you'd have intervened and taken action against the perpetrator, am I right?"

"He's a 7 year old boy, he's not a criminal, you got it wrong lady!" Daryl frowns crossly standing up.

Rick stands up and holds his hand out to Daryl to stop and calm down.

"Miss Jones have you sat each boy down separately and asked what happened between them that resulted in the punch? Carl has never done anythin' like this, there must be some misunderstandin', he's goin' through some issues at home, me and his mother are goin' through a divorce, you must have this information in his records. He's really sensitive right now so I would appreciate it, if you looked into this and ask Patrick his account before you start throwing accusations. If Carl did in fact hit Patrick then we can come to an arrangement of punishin' him, I won't stand in your way. But this is all just out of character, I know my son, _he's a little lost right now but he is a good boy_!" Rick says keeping his cool, he didn't want to make matters worse but the accusation that Carl was a bully and would violently lash out didn't sit well with him.

"Deputy Grimes, all parents see their children as angels, they can do no wrong, the bottom line is, Carl attacked another student and he has to be disciplined otherwise we're tellin' the children it's ok to hit and there are no consequences. The school doesn't want a repeat of this behaviour, we want to nip it in the bud sooner than later. Carl is to stay in every recess the remainder of the week writing lines that we must not strike our fellow peers and he will need to apologise to Patrick and pay for his glasses to be repaired."

"Is this your final say?" Rick asks looking at the floor

"Yes!" Karen replies

"You leave me with no other option, I had hoped we could have between ourselves figured out what had happened," Rick looks up "I'd like to speak with the principle, I want this matter looked into, this could leave a mark on my son and I won't have that, he is a 7 year old boy and I want to get to the bottom of this incident, I don't want to just nip it in the bud without both boys bein' talked to and someone has heard both sides of the story. Please, as I'm already here, can you ask Principle Horvath if I may take up 5 minutes of his time, I hope that's not goin' to be an inconvenience?"

Ricks looking at Karen who was now gobsmacked nodding her head at whatever he just commanded and leaves the office to find Principle Horvath, this was now out of her depth, other parents would have accepted what she said, Rick Grimes clearly was not one of them, she scolds herself remembering his uniform, he interrogated/investigated people on a daily basis.

Rick met with Principle Horvath and they sat and discussed the incident. He promised the matter would be looked into and that he would personally talk to both boys in the morning when they had a night's sleep. Rick shook the principles hand and went back to Carl's classroom to take Carl home.

He walks into the room and finds Beth and Carl sitting on the floor where quiet time is usually held talking quietly. Carl looked to have been crying and looking ashamed, Beth was consoling him. Beth had her arm around his shoulder whispering something and it seemed to do the trick, Carl wiped his eyes with his sleeve and agreed to what she was saying, she stands up and holds out her hand and Carl hesitantly trying to decide whether or not he should take her hand thinks. Rick could see his little mind trying to figure out what he should do and then Carl reaches out and takes Beth's hand trusting her and they begin to walk towards him.

"Let's go find your dad, I'll talk to him and he'll ask you some questions, answer him honestly and everythin' will be ok." Rick hears Beth say

Carl seeing his dad runs and hugs him around the waist, Rick places a hand around his shoulders and strokes his hair taking a few moments whilst Beth grabs her purse watching both clearly needed cheering up. She didn't want to interrupt but decided it was ok to.

"I was wonderin' whether you both wanted to go grab a hot chocolate, I haven't had a decent hot chocolate in months and marshmallows! I wanted to get a yay I got a job hot chocolate and I don't want to go get one by myself!" Beth does a little throwing her hands up in the air yay and looks at them both with hope in her eyes and she bats her lashes for extra effect.

"Can we dad, please?" Carl looks up anxiously

Beth's efforts clearly worked as he was smiling looks down to Carl, he couldn't deny Carl at this moment and agrees as Carl looks like he needed cheering up. Carl beams at Beth and Beth leads the way out of school.

"Uncle Daryl…we're goin' to get hot chocolate, do you wanna come?" Carl runs up to Daryl who's sitting on his bike smoking. Daryl looks from Carl to Beth and puffs out smoke. Beth was standing clutching her bag, for some reason she felt nervous around him, he didn't speak much but observed a lot. Carl jumps on to the bike to get Daryl's attention, anyone else, he would have smacked them off his precious bike which had belonged to his older brother.

"Are you coming?"

Daryl takes one last drag of his cigarette, flicks it on the floor and puts it out "Guess I am"

Carl happy climbs down and walks over to Beth and holds her hand again and begins to walk to Rick's car.

"I'll meet you at the diner" Beth says and Carl asks whether he can ride with Beth, Rick agrees fitting his booster seat into her car. He scruffs Carl's hair and gets into his car taking the lead with Beth and Daryl following behind. On the way he takes regular glances in his rear view mirror to see the reflections of Carl and Beth in conversation, Carl was talking to Beth clearly distracted from the day's events for which he was grateful for. Rick was glad Beth was there at the school today as it all could have been a different outcome with a very upset Carl and he, himself mirroring his son's behaviour with a bit more anger for Miss Karen Jones and her lack of experience with young children.

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><p>They arrive at the diner and Tara looks up hearing the commotion seeing Rick and Daryl and holding Carl's hand was the pretty girl she had seen months and months ago. She's staring half open-mouthed and Rick has to snap his fingers to get her attention.<p>

"Earth to Tara, you hearin' me alright?" he waves his hands in front of her

Tara just nods and Rick is astonished that Tara, the girl who has verbal diarrhea has nothing to say and wondered what had happened to her, he'd only seen her an hour or so ago. Tara retreats into the kitchen turning red in the face and Rick watches the revolving door and decides to take the empty seat in the booth next to Beth with Carl and Daryl opposite. They order their drinks and talk. Daryl is mostly listening and replying with nods and shrugs, Beth had asked a few questions and he'd reply in one or two worded answers and after half an hour he gets a call and informs them he has to go and he'll see them back at home later in the evening.

"I don't think he likes me" Beth says feeling he was uncomfortable around her all this time, she was sometimes too chirpy maybe she irritated him.

"Daryl's not much of a talker, don't take offense, you'll get accustomed to him, he's a good guy." Rick says to reassure Beth that Daryl didn't mean any harm with his direct gaze and lack of conversation.

"He's just shy, he's not good around girl's especially pretty girls." Carl says licking the last of the cream off his spoon and Beth giggles and Rick joins in for Carl's open and honest analysis.

"You think?" Beth asks again and Carl nods distracted by the flashing of lights a few meters away.

Rick rummages through his trouser pockets and pulls out some coins, hands them over to Carl who looks at Rick and he gives Carl a nod towards the Pinball Machine. Rick wanted to distract Carl from the earlier events and persuades him to go play. Rick gets up and sits directly opposite to Beth in the booth.

"Carl told me what happened in school today," Beth says to Rick and that gets his attention and he's frowning not sure if he's going to like what shes going to say.

"He said that a boy called Noah has been picking on him and saying that his mom had run away and was never gonna come back. Patrick went to stop Noah, Noah pushed Patrick into Carl and Carl on reflex put his hand out and accidentally hit Patrick in the face, it was all accidental and Noah instigated it all. Carl was upset that nobody would listen and he was upset that he hurt Patrick and broke his glasses." Beth watches Rick and he slumps in his chair feeling that this is all somehow his fault.

Rick clears his throat and looks at Beth ready to disclose the reason for the rumours, wondering what her reaction would be, everyone had one and an opinion to match on him nowadays and he felt people were judging him and his once respected character and mostly the affects this is having on Carl.

"Lori disappeared a couple of months ago, she left a note sayin' that she needed to get away and sort her head out and that I am not to look for her, she wants nothin' to do with me and looking at Carl just reminds her of me. She called in at her local Sheriff's Department and told them that she was leaving on her own accord and that she is not a missing person," Rick says not looking at Beth

"It's been two months now and no word from her, Carl is devastated, I've been lookin' for her since, Shane and Daryl have been helpin' me but she's just disappeared and it's now got around town. Chinese whispers…one wrong account from someone and now I'm some horrible husband and Carl is feelin' the brunt of the rumors circulating, he's now being picked on at school. This is all my fault because of my decision to go my own way - School is meant to be where he should be able to get away from it all and be a kid but it's havin' the opposite affect on him." Rick says scrunching up the napkin in front of him

"Rick, you never said in any of your messages that this happened…I'm an idiot for not even asking!"

Beth was annoyed with herself, she was too obsessed in what was going on in her own life and never thought to ask Rick how things were going with him, Carl and Lori. Shhe didn't want to impose on his marital life, it was between him and his wife but maybe she should have asked when she thought about it, it was such a sticky subject.

"You've been keepin' this all to yourself?

Rick fiddles with the napkin and shrugs his shoulders, the response should have looked pathetic but to Beth it broke her heart to see him like this. This was Deputy Rick Grimes sitting in front of her, he seemed to have lost a piece of him, she wasn't going to let him slip into the world of self loathe and blame himself for what has happened. Beth reaches over and grabs hold of Rick's hand which felt tense from getting worked up and she grips him to relax and he stops fiddling and stares at her hand and his grip loosens. He allows her to hold his hand. Beth was hoping any strength she had she could transfer over to him.

"Rick, you can't blame yourself, this _is not your fault! _I'm sure wherever Lori is, she is fine, she'll get back in touch when she's ready to. She informed the authorities of her decision and she's left on her own accords right? You can't sit and worry about her forever, she's a grown woman who is strong-headed, she'll come back when she'd good and ready, she needs time, you both do and unfortunately this is how she's decided to deal with it and it sucks!" She watches Rick hoping he is listening.

"You should talk to Carl, answer any questions he has, communicate with him, he needs reassurances and he'll come to you with his worries. Kids pick up on vibes so you need to stop blamin' yourself, you don't need to do that to yourself Rick, it'll take you to dark places, you just gotta look after Carl and yourself! He is your main priority and that means you need to let go of everything and give yourself a break." Beth tightens her hold to convey her thoughts hoping it will give him some comfort and afterthought of how he's feeling about himself, he isn't the monster he is painting himself to be, his mind is conjuring up what others are making him believe.

"If you ever wanna talk, you can call me anytime, don't be shy, you and Carl shouldn't have to go through this on your own!"

Beth lets go of Rick's hand and they sit together in companionable silence. They both just sit thinking and she could see the stress and doubt wash away slowly from Rick's face and his slouched body begins to straighten and this pleased her.

Beth was listening to the music from the radio smiling playing with her spoon in her cup looking out the window at the passer-by's and Rick takes a moment watching her. He wondered where she got her strength and wisdom from, she was young but wiser than her years. She was a question mark to him, a question mark that intrigued him, she was different to many of the women he knew and he was glad of that, she was unique.

Rick could see Beth was lost in the music, she looked happy and somewhat at peace, there was a sparkle in her eyes that he's not seen before, maybe the sparkles always been there but was hidden beneath her grief. She didn't look like the fragile girl he first met and the time they last sat in this booth. It felt like a million years ago, this was a young, strong and confident woman sitting in front of him. Rick was noticing the changes in their emails they had exchanged over the six months, he'd gotten to know her better reading and replying to her messages. He was able to get away from his manic life for a while and she let him in hers for a bit, it was different, it was positive. The changes from the last time he'd seen her just ooze off of her, her calmness and infectious positivity was rubbing off on to him.

"Maybe I should go to Afghanistan and make a change, you're goin' to be a celebrity/public figure around here - I hope you know that right!?"

Beth rolls her eyes "Stop, I've been gettin' that from everyone since I got back!"

"You better get used to it…you've been gone six months savin' lives, delivering babies, I think the hero worships gonna last at least a few years!"

"Please stop, I didn't do it for all that, I loved it out there, all of it, the countries, the people, I'm goin' to return there one day, I've made bonds that I can't forget. I learnt a lot about myself and been able to think things over and accept stuff!" _she shows a flash of sadness, Rick notices and understands, whatever the loss and pain, it will always be there but with time they could become happy memories to reflect back on and she's trying which is all she can do he thinks. _"But I'm glad to be home, really, I missed everyone!" she says smiling looking back up to Rick.

"It's really good to see you back, really, I'm glad." Rick repeats resulting a happy blush from Beth.

"I've got so much to tell you, show you" Beth exclaims

She gets out her phone and hands it over to Rick and he flicks through the photos, she animatedly tells him every detail about the pictures and her picture of pride is of her and baby Zahrah. Carl comes over to see what all the fuss was and sits next to Beth and tells him about the baby and he looks at the pictures in interest.

"The baby has a lot of hair on her head! When babies are born are they supposed to have hair?" Carl asks curiously

"When you were born you had a full head of hair"

Carl scrunches his nose and touches his hair "I did?"

"Yeah you got the Grimes's Family Mane, your Grandpa and Great Grandpa had full locks of hair just like us."

"Do you have pictures so I can see?"

Rick sits up.

"Yeah I'm sure I've got a box full of old photos and stuff Grandpa kept."

"I want to see if we all look the same, everyone says I look like you, I want to see if I look like Grandpa and Great Grandpa Rick too, that would be so weird and cool if we all look the same."

"Great Grandpa Rick had a moustache and a goatee, he was known as a Cowboy back in the day."

"A real Cowboy – Cool!"

"You know, he had his own ranch and when I was a boy I used to spend my summers there, he taught me how to ride a horse and my dad taught me to bull ride years later. But Great Grandpa Rick used to compete in the Rodeos and The Kentucky Derbys when he was younger. I still remember those Derbys my dad used to take me to." Rick says to Carl who's fascinated, he's never heard these stories before.

Rick was happy to see that Carl was taking an interest to learn about his family routes, he kept all the family heirlooms and one day hoped Carl would take an interest. There were stuff in there that he hadn't looked at in years and it would be nice to share and reminisce about his youth with Carl.

"I'm excellent at playing Buckaroo and I'm pretty good with a horse and a rope!" Beth interjects and they both stare at her interested and she answers "I grew up on a farm and on that note, it's time I went home."

"You know - it's nearly dinnertime" Rick says looking at his watch "Why don't you join us? I hear they do the best meatballs and deserts you've ever tasted?"

Rick remembers Beth had persuaded him the same way and looks at her hoping she'll stay and he sees Carl with the same hope. Beth sits back down in answer and Carl celebrates running off to grab the menus.

They continue talking all through dinner and both Rick and Carl end the day forgetting their troubles for a while much happier and feeling lighter than they both had been earlier on in the day. Beth couldn't turn back the clock but she would help them through their troubles, she hoped Lori would think of Carl and make contact for his sake but until then she would be a friend to both father and son.

* * *

><p>AN I had some computer problems and some of this chapter got deleted. I had to redo the last half, hopefully I didn't miss anything out and didn't double post anything. I didn't get much time to check it over before posting. Hope it turned out alright.

=)


	10. Chapter 10

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:** Happy New Year – Wishing everyone a Prosperous 2015 – Next chapter is up.

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own the Walking Dead or its characters

**WARNINGS:** -

Apologies in advance for any spelling and grammatical errors.

Anything in _Italics are thoughts_

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><p><strong>Loved Back to Life<strong>

**Chapter 10**

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><p>Rick sits on the hood of his car, arms crossed and looking up at the sky watching the clouds go by. They were moving fast, heavy winds and a month's supply of rain have been forecasted for the week ahead. He'd have to make sure his roof was ok he thought. The last time they'd had heavy rains, a few of the tiles had fallen off and there'd been a leak. He'd done a quick patch-up job himself which was sufficient for the time being until he had time to call a roofer to replace the tiles, it was on his list to do but now he wished he'd done it sooner than later. He'd have to call around today to get estimates and works started as soon as possible if the broadcasters were right.<p>

He sighs wearily, his "To Do List" was longer than his arm. It was hard keeping up with working all day, house chores and finding enough time to spend with Carl before bedtime. Last night he was so exhausted, as soon as they got home from grocery shopping, they ate a takeaway Pizza and he crashed on his bed without changing out of his jeans and T-shirt after putting Carl to bed. This morning he pressed the snooze button a couple of times and must have pressed cancel as when he woke, the alarm clock read 7:30am and he remembers running into Carl's room picking up his sleepy boy (who was asking for another five more minutes) and carrying him into the bathroom to brush his teeth.

He couldn't even remember what he packed for Carl's lunch today, his forehead creases from the result of trying to remember. Hopefully it was something appetising. He needed cooking lessons also he thought frowning. He was a terrible cook and Carl was enduring the food placed in front of him and sometimes the plate was pushed back to the center of the table and he couldn't blame him. He couldn't get his head around Lori's cookbook's, signs of never really being in the kitchen. What was tsp and tbsp?, wasn't pinch and dash the same?, cups and oz's, 9-by-5-inches loaf pan (8 cups in capacity) and 23-by-12-centimeter loaf pan (2 liters in capacity) the different types and sizes of baking trays and dishes - these were confusing kitchen jargon to him. Couldn't they just say teaspoon and tablespoon etc. He could cook a few dishes; spagboll and chilli, the food he and Shane used to make when they were at college and when they joined the academy. Cheap and easy options, they just guessed the measurements of ingredients having watched his mom in the kitchen a few times. When you're a college student, you didn't care, it was step1= make it and step2= eat it or throw it out and get greasy takeout.

_"__Am I a shitty parent?"_ he asks himself and his inner voice answers _"yes"._ He wanted to growl in anger, frustration, he didn't like this feeling not knowing what to do. Carl was being challenging since the Noah issue. Whenever the topic or Lori would come up, he'd close up or become frustrated, it's like he was trying to block out the incident. Carl was having moments of being detached and he'd try and talk to him but he wouldn't and then there were moments of Carl being extremely clingy so he was demanding more attention. There were a few nights when he'd wake up and find Carl sleeping next to him, hugging his arm with his mom's sweater in between them. Carl was showing signs of neglect that he'd see in other people's kids. Carl was lacking the love and affection that Lori gave him, she was always there with him from the day he was born and now Carl knew she had abandoned him. He had tried to explain she had gone away for a while and the other questions he just couldn't answer as he didn't know. He was at a loss of what to do, he was feeling like a failure. He always had an answer or found a solution to a problem. This worried him, what else could happen or go wrong and would he be able to fix it? _"God, help me – show me a light, please!"_ he says closing his eyes.

A couple of parents walk past, the dads politely nod or give a vocal afternoon, some of the moms greet him in the same manor but some women ignore him. He knew what they were thinking and that was fine by him, he didn't care anymore and he goes back to watching the clouds. It was quite therapeutic when he blocked everything out just sitting there with nothing to do just watching them move.

His peace is then interrupted when the thud of a folder drops down next to him and he looks down at it. He hadn't even heard Daryl approaching until he saw his muddy boots and combat trousers appear in front of him. He's usually aware of whose around or approaching but then he laughs to himself to even question why he didn't hear Daryl. This is Daryl Dixon - The Hunter/Archer, Special Weapons and Tactics Officer. He'd joke when they'd watch old westerns that back in those times, Daryl would have made an excellent Bounty Hunter.

Rick knew of Daryl's childhood which is his driving force to where he is today, protecting innocent people and stopping thugs. He couldn't protect himself and his innocent mother all those years ago from his violent father and his brutal thug acquaintances, this maybe is his way of dealing with his past and for his mother. She'd be proud to know one of her sons made it out of the slums and become a good man he thought. Daryl definitely has mastery in his skills, skills that could impress anyone, his agility, stamina, defence was sought after by all the forces in the US. After meeting Daryl all those years ago when he was a messed up young redneck, Daryl turned his life around and joined the army and it went from there. Rick looks up at his friend, he doesn't know how he can thank him for asking for a transfer to Georgia. Morgan called and told Daryl about his and Lori's separation and him falling into a depression. Daryl requested a transfer from NYPD to Georgia much to his superior's dismay. Rick will forever be indebted to him. Shane will forever be his brother but Daryl is the brother and support he needed in this crisis, he was calming and wise whereas Shane was a whirlwind of emotions, quick tempered and aggressive and usually made matters worse.

"Details ya asked for." Daryl says lighting up a cigarette sitting down next to him.

"Thanks" Ricks says picking the file up but not opening it.

"Goin' home to catch from Zzz's" Daryl says getting up rubbing his eyes.

Rick sees Miss Karen Jones walking to her car and she spots Rick and begins to make her way over. Daryl sensing Rick's sudden displeasure turns round and sees the woman approaching. Daryl doesn't want to stick around and begins to leave but Rick stops him.

"Deputy Grimes…erm…Rick!" the sugary sweet voices calls out.

Daryl smirks noticing the way she softly said Rick.

"I need you to come in there with me, I'm not in the mood for what's goin' to go down with Miss Jones, you might have to stop me from sayin' somethin' I might later regret."

Rick really didn't need to deal with this woman and Daryl knew why and he couldn't blame him, he could use his skills that usually annoy Rick, it was like a green light and he grins, make anyone uncomfortable and make them leave within a few seconds. He was knackered and just wanted to go home and sleep but Rick didn't need the unwanted attention from the oncoming woman. Rick was always forgiving and reasonable but Daryl could see he didn't feel like being reasonable today with this woman. Rick would do the same for him and has done on many occasions when he's felt uncomfortable.

"There's free food" Rick says and Daryl remembered he had missed lunch and agreed.

Miss Jones had come over and apologised and Rick had accepted and wanted to move past this. Daryl didn't have try too hard, he made Miss Jones uncomfortable with his scowl and she excused herself as quickly as possible but leaving her details with Rick if he wanted to discuss anything further. After she left, Daryl took the paper out of Rick's hand, tore it up and threw it in the bin.

"So, where's the food?" Daryl asks clicking his knuckles

Rick claps Daryl on his shoulder "this way" and leads them inside.

* * *

><p>Carl had come home last week with a newsletter from Beth addressed to all the parents inviting them to a Parent's Evening. It was an opportunity for her to introduce herself to the parents, the parents to introduce themselves to her and for her to answer any questions they had. She also had some reservations and wanted to see the interactions between the children and their parents.<p>

They walk into Beth's classroom and look at the welcoming poster above the door:-

_**Welcome to our Happy, Crazy, Fun, LOUD, Messy, Caring, Loving class!**_

_Miss Greene & Sunshine Class Welcome You_

The room is buzzing with parents and children, the clatter of laughter could be heard all over. Beth had definitely made her mark. The classroom was bright, more child friendly and inviting.

"Jesus, did a bag of Skittles just blow up in here from the last time we were here…taste the rainbow ha?"

Daryl says looking around at the paintings, murals, poems and musical symbols made by the children all around the classroom walls and Rick agrees taking in the vast changes. Daryl the always observant nods to a picture on one of the walls and tries not to laugh covering his mouth pretending to cough. Rick's eyes sweep over the picture and he looks at it proudly. It was a picture of him in his uniform, hat, gun and standing beside his cruiser.

"He captured you…beautifully…specially your big ole nose!" Daryl manages to say and Rick chuckles his nose did look out of proportion but warning Daryl to shut up.

Rick looks around for Beth and he spots her in the center of the crowd of children and their parents. She was busy greeting them, they were all eager to have a word with the teacher their children have been raving about. Carl had come home raving about Beth, that he couldn't believe she is his teacher, she plays the guitar, piano, can sing and is generally cool. Rick had been thrilled when he heard Carl's change of heart about going to school. Beth was the only one putting a smile on his face. Carl comes running over pulling Rick's hand to come speak with Miss Greene but Rick could see Beth was swamped and he tells Carl that they'll wait once she's free. Beth smiles seeing Rick and waves to him. He smiles nodding back. She then asks the parents to take a seat.

Mr Richmond another teacher announces that there are activities set up in the next room for the children and he will entertain them whilst the meeting continues. Daryl and Rick look at the seating arrangements and thankfully there were adult sized seats and they take their seats near the back.

Beth is a great host, she was shy to begin with but once she got into it, her passion, confidence and words rolled easily and the parents were happy with what she had to say, her ideas and they were able to put in their input to which she agreed they would be taken into consideration. She ended the meeting saying they'd have a brilliant term working closely together. If they ever had a query to knock on her door after class and she'd make time to see them. A lot of the dads had never been so interested in parent's meetings until today it would seem, they had sat watching, listening, laughing and didn't seem to mind the beautiful young blonde teacher to the dismay of their wives.

Daryl was impressed with Beth. He had got to observe a lot of the people in the room, people who were busybodies and always had something negative to say but Beth had them eating out of her hands, she had a knack to get her message through and everyone was listening and eager to be involved. Beth playfully dismissed the parents with everyone laughing. She opens the double doors which was separating her room from Mr Richmond's where the children were. The two rooms spread out openly for everyone to mingle and Mr Richmond points towards snacks and refreshments some generous parents had made.

Daryl leaves Rick to line up to get food, his stomach was beginning to growl. Minding his own business, he waits for the line to move and he suddenly feels eyes on him. He moves his pupils to the side and catches a few of the children stealing glances at him, they were very direct in their gazes. He was dressed different to their parents, to the kids, he looked like a badass character from video games from the Xbox and PS4. He goes back to ignoring them concentrating ahead of him. The line moves and he steps forward and what should have been his next stopping spot, he bumps into a little rounded boy who had just jumped the queue. Daryl lowers his gaze fixated on the boy _"seriously kid?"_

"Hey chunky monkey, back of the line!" Daryl threatens

The boy turns around and he curiously looks Daryl up and down, Daryl does the same to him.

"Why are you dressed like that?" the boy's nose creases asking the question

Daryl's scowl only narrows giving the boy evils to shut up and get lost.

"Do you work for Secret Services or the FBI?

"No!" Daryl answers

"Are you an Assassin?"

"No!" Daryl repeats and crosses his arms

"Do you have a gun and a knife concealed under your trousers or in your boots?" he asks looking down at Daryl's big boots and yes Daryl did but he wasn't going to say so, the boy would most likely ask for him to prove it and cause a riot.

"Didn't your momma teach ya manners and to mind ya own business?" Daryl snaps in irritation.

The boy has a flash of sadness in his eyes and Daryl catches it and regrets barking at him, the boy looks up with snaps back at Daryl.

"I don't have one, didn't yours teach you to be nice?"

Daryl regret his last taunt, he could see his last remark had upset the boy. He internally scolds himself for shouting at him, nobody ever bothered him with questions about himself, most people thought he was intimidating, so it came as a shock when the boy kept asking questions.

Beth noticing Charlie and Daryl in some type of dispute staring hard at each other rushes over. She remembers how intimidating Daryl was from her first encounter with him and Charlie was always asking questions, the two together was a bad combination.

"Is everythin' ok?" she looks from Daryl to Charlie "Charlie?" Beth notices the tell-tale signs of a standoff.

Charlie looks up at Beth and shakes his head and walks off. Beth turns around and looks up at Daryl who watches Charlie walk off.

"What did you say?" she whispers so only Daryl could hear

"Nothing" Daryl mumbles back

"You must have, for him to walk off like that!" Beth looks at Daryl in alarm

"Boy pushed in, told him to go to the back of the line, started sassin' back and then asked didn't his Momma teach him any manners" Daryl replies and the look on Beth's face told him, he'd said the wrong thing.

"He's a foster kid…you.." Beth watches as Charlie leaves the room.

She looks back up at Daryl whose face was covered in shame and he really didn't mean to attack or upset Charlie with his words just wanted to be left in peace. Daryl scrunches up his fist making it turn white and Beth notices.

"You weren't to know, but you could at least lose the attitude especially around kids." Beth says grabbing hold of his hand to stop.

Daryl snatches his hand away "This is why I don't do places like this!" he gruffs and walks off with Beth watching on sadly as he leaves. Charlie needed some time alone, she had figured from previous incidents she'd read in his file. She'll go look for him once he'd calmed down.

Beth sees a woman with short spiky graying blonde hair approaching her.

"I'm Carol Peletier, Sophia's mom, it's finally nice to meet you" she smiles and Beth smiles back

"It's nice to meet you too, Sophia is a pleasure to have in my class" Beth reaches her hand out and the woman hesitantly shakes Beth's hand.

Beth greets the woman and can see the facial similarities between mother and daughter, similar shy eyes and nose.

Sophia was one of the quietest students in the class, very clever but at times withdrawal in group activities and preferred to sit playing alone, secretly looking in, not joining in unless persuaded or asked to. She seemed to be socially inept. Carol didn't seem to socialise with any of the other parents either, she had sat to the side and listened and wasn't vocal in the meeting or mingling with anyone. There were a few times Beth saw the woman and thought she wanted to participate asking questions but hesitated each time and remained as she was sitting there quietly listening but she was more than wanting to make acquaintances with Beth in private away from prying eyes and ears.

Beth had noticed a few times Sophia had come to school upset like her mind was someplace else and the tiredness was evident in her eyes like she could fall asleep in class due to lack of sleep? Beth liked to look people in the eye so they knew they had her full attention and Carol looked down or away like she wasn't used to the attention. Beth understood, she had all her years growing up as an adolescent been shy, felt awkward and never had much confidence in front of stranger and then there were Shawn and Maggie who were both vocal enough that she never needed to say much, she was always in their shadows until she finally went to college and discovered herself, her confidence, she had her own identity. Beth was thinking maybe Carol had some issues of low self-esteem and then she notices bruises on her wrists, the cardigan couldn't conceal the marks, the purple marks told her somebody had restrained her wrists and then the concealer hiding her black eye. Carol noticing pulls her sleeves down feeling embarrassed. Beth caught her eyes and she saw the loneliness and helpless in them, she wanted to reach out and say something but before she could open her mouth, Carol called Sophia making an excuse saying she had to leave to pick up groceries thanking Beth for her time and Beth thanked her for coming. Watching Carol take Sophia's hand, clearly there was more going on, putting two and two together Beth looks up watching Carol leaving with Sophia and her arm was protectively around the little girl's shoulder. She hadn't seen Mr Peletier, could he have done that to Carol? She was putting two and two together and probably coming up with seven but she wanted to make sure Sophia and Carol were ok.

Beth stands there fiddling with the paper in her hand. Rick takes this opportunity to take Carol's spot noticing Beth in thought watching Carol and he caught on, he knew what was going through Beth's mind and places his hand on her lower back walking around to face her.

"Can I steal a moment of your time Miss Greene?" Rick raises an eyebrow looking around waiting for someone to come along to talk to her.

"You have my full attention Deputy Grimes" Beth laughs and Rick removes his hand from her and places it into his trouser pocket.

"You're quite the motivational speaker, you fancy comin' to the station and workin' your magic on my colleagues?"

"Sure tell me where and when." Beth jokes

"Great, we have our yearly baseball match comin' up against Linden County, sure could use your help, Shane's pep talks aren't let's say, motivatin' or encouragin' to anyone. If we were allowed our weapons on the field, I'm pretty sure they'd be aimin' towards his head!" he jokes and Beth agrees having observed Shane and his way of saying and getting things done. Unbelievable that he and Rick are best friends. From what she's heard, Rick is the only person who can get through to Shane and to get him to stop acting like a douchebag.

"The room looks good, you've been busy!" Rick says

Beth looks around and takes in the classroom and all the happy children running around, she had dreamt of this moment since she was a girl.

"Yeah…but the kids did it all, they just needed some encouragement, this is all their handiwork but yeah - it looks good if I don't say so myself!"

Beth was pleased with the look of the class, it screamed Sunshine Class, hers and her kid's class. She looks up at Rick with a satisfied beam plastered on her face reaching her eyes and he could see that sparkle again, she was in her element and comfort zone amongst the kids and people.

"How are you and how's Carl?" Beth asks feeling they'd been looking at each other a bit longer than normal but this breaks any peace and happiness Rick was feeling in the moment. He takes his hand and rubs his brow and then hard down his face. Beth has become familiar to this movement of Ricks, it was just like the tick she gets below her right eye when worried or stressed.

"Where do I start?" he replies

Without hesitation, Beth takes a hold of his arm and guides him over to a table to sit down and tells him she'll be back in a minute. Rick takes a seat watching her whizz off and then a moment later she's back with two mugs of steaming coffee.

"Strong black with two sugars right?" Beth looks up as if trying to jog her memory and looks back at him looking hopeful she got it right.

Rick nods smiling taking the mug inhaling the aroma and exhaling out with a content sigh, it was like she read his mind, he hadn't had his caffeine fix all day and he takes a sip and the sigh that escapes Rick's lips hits her inside making her look at him. It was like nothing she heard coming from him before, it was deep and throaty, the noise only heard when one feels satisfied and content in a personal way. She averts her eyes, she can feel a hot flush forming on her cheeks not knowing why his sigh had gotten this reaction out of her, it was coffee for heaven sake, she hoped Rick was still enjoying his coffee and not been watching her. She looks back at him. He had his eyes shut thank god she thought, he looked as if he was savouring the moment and she didn't want to disturb this peace and quiet.

He looks much younger when he's like this she thought. The lines on his forehead and around his eyes have evened out showing smooth worry-free skin, the signs that current events in his life and the high demanded job have aged him years but still gave him a distinguished handsome look which suited him.

"That praise goes to Mr Richmond who made the coffee," she laughs and Rick realising he was a bit too vocal than he should have blushed taking another mouthful "we've got a fancy new coffee machine and he's makin' cup after cup so there's more once you finish that one" Beth nods to his mug taking a sip of her own.

"I really needed that, sorry but it's good" he says leaning back against the wall.

Beth shakes her head it's ok, leans back and turning slightly towards him. He looked tired and exhausted, she could now see the circles under his eyes and the stubble's appearing on his chin and cheeks which to be honest gave him more of a charm and appeal. She's not missed the glances many women have given him and Rick always seems to be oblivious to the attention. He was desired and he didn't even know it. Beth stops herself from observing any further, she felt a sudden unease of why was she thinking such thoughts. Beth looks at him and Rick opens his eyes again and she goes back to sipping her coffee waiting for him to talk.

Rick looks down unintentionally at her legs and smiles when he sees her cowgirl boots. The first time he saw her, she was wearing those same boots and they really suited her, there was something about them he couldn't explain. Beth was comfortable with who she is and that made him feel comfortable to be himself and let whatever was on his chest out.

"I feel like I'm in over my head," he looks to Beth "I had pictured me and Carl, we'll get through with it so long as we've got each other, everythin' will be ok," Rick looks into his cup and sees his reflection in the black liquid "I feel like I'm failing him, I feel like I'm the shittiest parent on planet earth!" he breathes out long and hard.

"You're not Rick, trust me I've seen shitty parents and I can put my hand on my heart and tell you that you are not one of them!" Beth puts her hand on her heart to emphasis this.

"Has Carl opened up to you about his mom? He's alert and interested in class, he and Noah seem to have made a truce but I still feel maybe you need to talk to him, he needs answers to questions." Beth says looking Rick in the eyes.

"I know…but the thing is, I don't even know what the answers to the questions are as I don't know myself. Lori's gone, SHE abandoned our son, only SHE has the answers!"

Rick said harsher than he should have but Beth allows him to vent his frustrations, she couldn't blame him. Lori had done a vanishing act, not the smartest thing a mother can do unless it was unavoidable and Rick wasn't the type to run someone out of town, especially the mother of his child.

"Every time, I bring up the topic, he clams ups and becomes upset like I'm constantly remindin' him his mom's left and he says he doesn't want to see her again and then he starts to argue, that is not Carl. And then the other night I wake up and he's sleeping next to me holding on to my arm for dear life with his mom's sweater in between us. I ask him to talk and he doesn't want to. One minute he's detached, then I can't give him enough attention. I'm just at a loss of what to do, I just don't know anymore, this is all too out of my depth." Rick bangs his head on the wall in frustration, like he can smack some sense or wisdom into himself.

"Your helpin' people day in, day out, what would you do if he was a child at a house you had been called to and thought maybe the family was goin' through a rough time…similar to your circumstances?" Beth asks and Rick looks at her not liking the question. Had he and Carl become a part of the statistics of a broken home. He knew Beth wasn't trying make him feel bad but asking him to look in from the outside and it terrified him.

"I'd try and help and if that fails, I would convince them to get counselling." He answers

Beth looks at Rick, he had answered his own questions. He never thought he'd have to take Carl to counselling but it would be what he would suggest to a family who's in the same situation as him.

"Sometimes, you need help from someone on the outside, someone unconnected, a stranger, you know… you know what I mean.." Beth looks to Rick trying to make him remember, it was he who had helped her during her traumatic time. Her family had tried but it was easier for her to open up to a stranger, someone she felt comfortable with who'd allow her to mourn, digest and accept her issues in her own time. He never pushed her or told her how she should feel, he listened and offered his advice.

"I can get you some names and numbers of good psychiatrists, I know you have details but if you wanted it private and confidential away from work, I can look into it for you? If you want, I could talk to Carl and encourage him to speak to someone if that helps. I'm his teacher and if he trusts me, he might open up?" Beth asks hopefully she hasn't crossed a line in suggesting this.

Rick looked like some weight had been pulled off his shoulders, she'd opened his eyes completely, he wasn't able to do this himself, he needed help, outside help. Rick looked so grateful that she was willing to help him and Carl, he didn't know what to say.

"We'll try, if he doesn't want to talk, we won't push him to, we'll just try again another day and then the next until he's ready to talk. It's gonna be a long and hard process so just be ready for whatever comes, good and bad, we'll get him through this and you as well." Beth says squeezing Rick's hand resting on the table.

Rick doesn't know what to say, he's just staring at her so she turns his hand and entwines her fingers into his telling him that he doesn't need to say a thing.

"Dad! we made Hokey Pokey, try some!" Carl comes running over and they let go of each other's hand. Carl is stuffing the treat into Rick's mouth waiting for his appraisal. Rick's pleasantly surprised chewing and looking at the remains in between his fingers to see what's been stuffed into his mouth.

"This tastes good…YOU made this?" Rick says looking over the golden treat.

"Yeah, Miss Green showed us." Carl beams watching his dad take another bite.

"She did?" Rick says looking at Beth "You remember how to makes these?" he looks back asking Carl.

"1/2 cup of sugar, 4 tbsp of golden syrup and 1 1/2 tsp of _bicarbonate __soda_" Carl crosses off on his finger "melt and mix the sugar and golden syrup into caramel goo…then add the baking soda and it turns to whooshing cloud for a couple of seconds and then pour on to greased paper to cool for 15 minutes…and then you bash it into pieces, the best part!" Carl says with a grin for remembering and then runs off to get some more.

Rick bursts out laughing, a big hearty laugh remembering his worries about cooking.

"What's so funny?" Beth asks

"My son knows more about cooking than I do, I can just about boil and scramble an egg nowadays."

"You know - I ain't that bad of a cook and I'm actually a good teacher, if you ever need lessons, knock on my door, always open and welcome to drop by." Beth says pointing to her sign.

Rick nods "you are" and they continue drinking their coffees watching Carl eating the Hokey Pokey with his friends.

Mr Richmond comes over with his coffee looking tired and Beth introduces them to eachother.

"Rick this is Noah Richmond, he teaches Rainbow Class next door and Noah this is Deputy Rick Grimes"

Beth smiles and both men shake hands and Rick compliments the fantastic coffee and Noah goes into the story of how he had to bride the secretary to let them have the good stuff and not the instant coffee. Rick congratulates him on a good job and what the bargaining was to which Noah said it's best not to ask and they laugh clinking their mugs to wonderful coffee, excellent company and a successful Parent's Evening.

Next Chapter will be up soon, a bit of angst coming up…


	11. Chapter 11

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:** Thank you always to Emma, Layvba, Kaylah, Shelley, Lylyevans (I'm touched you stayed up and read my fic, really made my day, you can blame me if were grumpy the next day, I don't mind) and Guest for leaving me a review for my last chapter and thanks to the guys who have fav'd are following and those who are viewing.

Pretty Racing (I'm a fan of her Brick fics) has updated "Bedroom Hymns" and I'm playing over and over the scene at the end in my mind…man I'm like o.m.g!

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own the Walking Dead or its characters

**WARNINGS: A bit of Angst**

Apologies in advance for any spelling and grammatical errors.

Anything in _Italics are thoughts_

* * *

><p><strong>Loved Back to Life<strong>

**Chapter 11**

* * *

><p>Two days later…<p>

Carl walks slightly ahead of Jenny and Duane kicking pebbles on the floor as he goes. He looks around watching the comings and goings around him. He hums a tune to himself he learnt in class to drown out the voices of the moms fussing over their children all around him. They were hugging every direction he looked, to his left, his right, straight ahead and behind he sees Duane holding hands with his mother chatting happily about his day, she bends down and ties his laces to stop him from tripping. Carl looks sadly ahead of him missing those familiar interactions, letting out a tiny sigh he continues ahead looking at the watering tower a long distance away being his focal point to distract everything around him.

Jenny calls out to Carl to wait for her at the crossing and Carl calls out an ok. He watches as a bus drives past him and stop at the bus stop ahead. People file out one by one smiling as they walk by.

Carl recognises most the people, they were the same people he saw every Monday to Friday on his walk home from school with the Jones' when his dad was at work. Like every day, he watches and waits and his hopes are crushed the same as the other days, he didn't know why he bothered to hope anymore he thought to himself. He drags his heels now slowing down so Jenny and Duane could catch up. Just when he was about to stop, out of nowhere a tall woman with long brown wavy hair caught his attention. She had climbed down being the last off the bus with her back to him walking off crossing the road. She was wearing a white dress and jacket he recognised, his face lights up and his feet pick up starting to follow in her direction. The slow paced walking turned into a jog and then into a sprint so he didn't lose her from his line of sight.

"Mom!"

He's running trying not to bump into the crowd of people trying to cross the road. The red man comes on and the pedestrians stop but Carl oblivious to his surroundings continues running not taking his eyes off the woman. Jenny standing up spotting Carl horrified shouts out his name or someone to stop him and everyone begins looking around in alarm not knowing what was going on. The bus had left the stop moving in the fast flowing traffic and Carl was running right into its path.

"Mom, wait for me! I'm coming – MOM!" Carl nearly trips on his laces but manages not to, still running dropping his lunchbox instead to lighten his weight and uses his arms to push through the air to get him running faster "Mom, please wait!"

"CARLLLLLl!" Jenny screams frantically running after him.

Carl doesn't hear the yells coming from the crowd of people nor the bus beeping, his focus is just to get the woman to stop.

"OH MY GOD, HE'S GONNA GET HIT!" a woman screams

Cars begin to swerve to avoid the collision and the bus tyres are screeching to stop. Suddenly the beeping gets Carl's attention and he freezes covering his face and everything felt slow motion as he feels the force of himself being lifted off his feet into the air and not daring to open his eye he screams "DAD!" and then he lands with a thud on the floor. He cannot open his eyes, he doesn't want to open his eyes, his heart was racing faster than it had ever done before.

Carl feels warm breath on his head and wheezing in his ears, like someone was exhausted and trying to catch their breath.

"Carl!" he finally hears but too scared to open his eyes. "Carl, sweetie look at me" the gentle voice calling to him. The touch of soft hands lovingly wiping hair out of his face and around his back felt safe and comforting something he missed in such a long time. He looks up to see worried eyes looking him over breathlessly.

Carl's bottom lip trembles, his eyes start to water and he begins to silently cry burying his face into the cook of her neck. She can feel the hot tears running down her skin and all she can do is pull him to her and tell him he is safe.

Jenny and a few bystanders help Beth up with Carl securely in her arms.

"There, there Carl, I got ya" Beth whispers and all she can hear are Carl's quiet sobs. After a short while he manages to speak _"_I want my dad!_"_

"We're gonna call your dad now sweetie" Beth says stroking his hair sitting down on the pavement with Carl now sitting in her lap.

Jenny calls Rick informing him there was an incident. Rick had demanded to know what had happened and Jenny reluctantly told him but stressed that Carl is fine.

* * *

><p>Shane steals a glance at Rick who's sitting frozen in the passenger's seat. He had grabbed the keys off Rick, basically had to wrestle him to get them after Rick ran to the car when he got the call. Shane could see the emotions running through Rick's mind, the fear and worry written all over his face, he was clearly in shock and he'd not said a word since the car started moving with the siren blaring. Rick's eyes were just focused on the road ahead and anything Shane had said had just gone over his head, he didn't respond just kept on focusing looking at the road. Shane knew nothing he would say or do would help at this time and Rick was determined not to be disturbed away from his thoughts not until he could see Carl for himself. Shane broke the silence as the silence was killing him.<p>

"Hey, Carl's ok, you're worryin' about nothin', he's a mini you right…made of titanium, strong as steal!" Shane was caressing Rick's shoulder and he could feel how tense his muscles were. Rick remained in his stance.

"Rick, come on man, little tykes gonna get scared seein' ya like this. Ya need to snap out of it or I'm just gonna have to slap ya face back to normal…I ain't bluffin' - don't need him worryin' about you worrin' about him!"

After a long pause, Rick's eyelids slip closed and he leans his arm against the side dash of the car and pushes back the hair which had begun to tumble down on his sweating temple. He takes a moment breathing heavily to collect himself. He opens his eyes and he meets Shane's concerned gaze and nods in agreement. Shane relieved gives Rick one last caress on his arm and withdraws grabbing the radio informing Deputy Alby they were a minute away from the location.

Rick looks up leaning forward and sees the stationary bus and people scattered around on the walkways. He can see the area cornered off with traffic cones and Leon Bassett directing traffic to flow. Rick looks around for any signs of Carl and then he freezes glaring in the direction as he spots Carl sitting on the ambulance step being checked over by an EMT with Jenny and Morgan close by. He unclips his seat belt and opens the door jumping out before Shane had stopped the car.

"Fuck!" Shane curses, parking the car and jogging behind Rick to the ambulance hearing Rick calling out to Carl, he can hear Rick trying to hold back the lump in his throat as it comes out croaky.

"CA..RLLL!"

Carl seeing Rick jumps up and runs as fast as his feet would take him.

"DAD!"

They both meet with Rick pulling his arms out wide and Carl Jumping up into them. Rick engulfs him into a bear hug, kissing him on his head and face in relief. He didn't care if he looked melodramatic, the thought of Carl being hurt or worse was unbearable to think and just holding him in his arms feeling his small hands holding on to him was making him give in to his emotions. The possibilities of what could have happened, the accidents and carnages he has witnessed over the years, the people he had seen die before him was enough to make him fall down in joy and silently cry that Carl was not one of them _"Thank you god, thank you!"_. Shane is with them in an instant on the floor hugging them both into headlocks and they all laugh with Rick wiping his eyes and finally able to breathe.

"What did I tell ya, your silly old Pa worryin' about nothin', isn't that right little man!" Shane gives his silly laugh, holding back on his own tears and messes both Rick and Carl's hair and they both push him but they remain in a hug. It was a happy scene for the bystanders and they all slowly breakaway leaving Rick and Carl alone.

After the happy reunion making sure Carl was checked from head to toe and given the all clear, Rick picks up a tired Carl and carries him over to Jenny and Morgan. Jenny's face is swollen from crying, Morgan was consoling her. Rick walks over to the couple and puts a hand on Jenny's shoulder, she looks up at Rick.

"I'm so sorry Rick, this is all my fault, I should have been watching Carl more carefully" and she bursts into tears for the hundredth time.

Rick pulls her to him and hugs her. Morgan still had a hand on her back massaging for extra comfort.

"Hey, Jen, look at me!"

Jenny looks up looking distressed waiting to be yelled at by Rick, she didn't blame him, he trusted her with his child and she let him down. Rick could read her like a book.

"I trust you with Carl, I know that this was an accident and I don't want you to blame yourself. Carl told me what happened, he had run off after someone - he thought he saw Lori," Rick pauses "he said he called out to her but she wouldn't stop and carried on runnin' tryin' to catch up to her,"

Rick looks lost and Jenny caresses his back to continue, she had heard Carl calling out mom when she got closer but she couldn't see Lori anywhere.

"Carl said you told him not to walk too far ahead and to stop at the crossing, he did until he thought he saw him mom. He's missin' her and he thought that she was right there in front of him."

Rick lets out a heavy sigh, it sounded more pained than tired or anything else. _He could throttle Lori_ he thought to himself if she was to appear right before him but he'd be happy just for her to appear so that Carl could feel her presence and that she hadn't forgotten about him.

"I need you to know, I trust you with Carl and he promises to never do this again." He puts a hand on her shoulder "are you still able to collect Carl from School tomorrow? Rick asks peering down at her with those boyish blue eyes and lips turned in a tiny smile just like Carl does and Jenny laughs knowing Rick was trying to lighten the mood and trying to make her feel better.

"Can anyone say no to those baby blues?" Jenny laughs wiping her eyes

"I need you guys, I can't do this by myself - we can't do this by ourselves." Rick whispers patting Carl's back.

Jenny hugs Rick.

_"__Take care sweetie" _she says to Carl kissing him on the forehead.

_"__We will always be here for you and Carl – never ever think otherwise" _Jenny says to Rick in disbelief for even asking.

Rick lets go of Jenny and Morgan pulls his wife into him patting Rick on the arm to take care and guides his wife to their car where Duane was waiting for them. Jenny turns around quickly remembering.

"Have you any news on Miss Green?" she asks

_"__Miss Green?"_ Rick asks confused repositioning Carl in his arms from slipping.

"She ran out and grabbed Carl, she saved him from the bus hitting and fell and hit her head on the floor. She was taken to the ER to make sure she hadn't suffered a concussion."

Rick looks from Shane to Jenny and to Morgan not believing his ears suddenly having a sick feeling in his stomach.

"She ran out and grabbed Carl just like a mama bear" Morgan adds

_"__Nobody told me, I was too worried about Carl, I haven't checked on any other information," _Rick says looking at the floor shocked and then back up at them _"you say - Beth jumped out in front of the bus and saved Carl?_ Rick asks for clarity suddenly feeling overwhelmed, Jenny is nodding yes.

_"__Is she ok?"_ Rick asks alarmed stepping forward grabbing on to Jenny's arm and looking into her eyes to see that she's telling him the truth and not hiding anything from him. Jenny noticing the beams of sweat forming on his temple can see how serious Rick is answers..

"She was walking and talking but she had a nasty cut on her forehead and was slightly winded when she fell, she passed out for a couple of seconds so they took her in for observation. Rick, will you let us know how she is when you have any news?" Jenny is trying hard to control herself to not cry, Beth had hit her head hard on the floor.

"Come on baby, Rick will find out and let us know, let's get you home." Morgan nods to Rick and takes leave.

"Jesus!" Shane says speechless watching Morgan help Jenny into the car next to Duane in the backseat.

Rick was digesting the information walking with Carl in his arms asleep on his shoulder _"Beth ran out in front of a bus and saved Carl, she risked her life for Carls"_ It was a lot to take in and his worry for Beth was making him feel sick to his stomach not knowing how she is and to make matters worse, he stops and sees stains of blood being hosed off the ground and the red water swirling down the street towards the drain. It was Beth's, it was a little but to his eyes it was a pool of blood rushing past his eyes.

He suddenly remembers Zach's accident. The flashbacks of Beth running to the crash, breaking down, blood everywhere, her comatose state and then for her to have to go through this, it would bring back past memories and resurrect old wounds. It was happening to him and it would most definitely be happening to Beth, no matter how strong she shows she is now, Rick didn't want Beth to be alone in a manic emergency room, she needed someone familiar but he couldn't leave Carl. He looks over to Shane, yes, he could rely upon Shane, he was beginning to form a soft spot for Beth for her involvement with Carl, he could be trusted.

"Shane, I need you do me a big favour, this is really important" Rick grabs hold of Shane's arm.

"Yeah Rick, you name it?" Shane looked to want to help in any way he could.

"Can you go to the hospital and stay with Beth. Find out how she is, her current state and let me know when she is discharged, keep me updated, call me or text me as soon as you get any information. I want to go myself but I can't leave Carl, he's really fragile right now, I want to take him home and put him to bed and be there when he wakes up. All this stuff with Lori it's messing with his head, if he doesn't find me when he wakes up, he'll start panicking…"

"Sure, I'll stay with her and I'll arrange for her family to get to the hospital. It's the least I can do." Shane promises.

"Shane – take care of her, she's very important to…" Rick hesitates ending the sentence "she needs family, friends, familiar faces to look after her right now, it'll probably hit her what happened and she'll be worrying about Carl. Can you go to her and reassure her he's ok?"

Shane nods in understanding

"Shane, Beth's fiancé died in that car crash end of last year."

Rick watches Shane hoping he'll understand. He can see the ticking of Shane's mind going over past memories whilst looking back at him and the connections seems to click. Shane promises clapping him on the back and jogs over to Deputy Alby giving him instructions and gets into their car and moves off towards the hospital.

Deputy Alby comes over, takes Carl's backpack and lunchbox and Rick climbs into the back of the car with Carl asleep in his lap. Alby starts the car and manoeuvres in between and around the other vehicles. Rick sits there silently holding Carl stroking his hair whilst watching out the window. He was worried about Carl and his worries included Beth. He wanted to go see her and to thank her but more importantly to make sure she was ok, he hated seeing her blood covering the street. But Carl was his priority, no matter how much he hated not being at Beth's side, he knew she would understand, he could have lost Carl today and he couldn't leave him even for one second. Rick rests his head back on the headrest and closes his eyes.

* * *

><p>Beth was deep in thought looking out her window, she was sharing a room with another woman who had her back to her which was fine, she liked the peace and quiet and being shut away from the noises coming from outside the room. She watches as the rain comes down, it was calming and she was able to just stop and think.<p>

She plays back what had happened a couple of hours ago, it happened so fast. She was walking home and heard a commotion near the crossing, she had already reached the other side and making her way towards town but her curiosity had got the better of her and she was thankful she stopped to see what was going on. She had looked towards the direction of the bus driving down its lane and everyone was screaming, she couldn't understand why and then what she saw felt like somebody had turned off the oxygen and before she knew what she was doing, she dropped her books and ran the short distance back across the road. Carl in her view, the bus was nearing, the tyres were screeching _"no! no! please god no!"_ she chanted whilst running and threw herself grabbing Carl and rolling to the ground covering his body from getting hit.

She remembers she felt blood running down her face just like the zig zagging of the rain running down her window and the pain she felt throbbing on her side. She remembers wiping her face and looking at the red covering her hand and images of Zach pinned down on a bonnet against a tree were running through her mind. She froze and Zach's lips moving, his last words before he passed away echoed in her mind over and over. She had looked around for the person Zach had spoken of but she couldn't find him but her eyes landed on his son safe in front of her. It was confusing but she needed him in that moment, she and Carl needed Rick and before she could call for him everything had gone black as she hit the floor. Everything then after was a blur as she was being put into the back of an ambulance.

Beth lays there on the hospital bed and her thoughts go to Carl, she needed to be with him and Rick.

_"__Rick!" _she says aloud and before she knows what she's doing, she's about to climb out of the bed but is abruptly interrupted in her movements.

"Hey sweet child of mine, you had us worried, how you feelin' honey?"

Beth turns her head around and sees her father walking in looking down at her finding her hand smiling and she smiles back. On her other side, Maggie grabbed her hand taking a seat as she protectively rubs her big bump. She could see Maggie had probably been crying. Glenn crouched down next to her and rubbed her belly to get her attention.

Maggie looks at Beth and gives her a weak smile. She was proud of Beth but since Zach had died Beth seemed to be on this one woman mission to save everyone, she is now willing to get herself killed in the process, throwing herself out in front of buses. It frightened her what Beth would be willing to do next. The protective sister inside of her finally awakened.

_"__What were you thinkin' of runnin' out into a road of movin' traffic - do you realise you could have gotten yourself and that boy killed!"_ Maggie snaps watching Beth and continues _"You're not Supergirl! No more tryin' to save the world Beth! I mean it! You don't need to prove anythin' to anyone, you need to look after yourself!"_

Beth looked at Maggie disappointed, she was treating her like a child. She had grown up a long time ago but Maggie still treated her like the small girl who followed her around the farm when they were kids. She knew that Maggie didn't mean the callousness of her words but at times it came out wrong and abrupt especially when matters were out of her depth. Maggie's show of concern usually came out harsher than she meant it to, she showed her love by her anger, at times it was sweet but at times like this it irritated and upset Beth, this wasn't what she needed right now when she was worried about Rick and Carl.

Beth didn't do this to prove anything to anyone, she acted on instinct seeing the bus and Carl, her legs just carried her to him, she couldn't explain it and if Maggie couldn't understand then she wasn't going to try and explain it to her right now. They needed space, she had too much on her mind and too tired to fight. Maggie was nearing the end of her pregnancy, she didn't need any more stress, maybe hormones were playing part, emotions running high so Beth would let this go and grasps Maggie's hand in hers and entwines their fingers to make peace. It was a gentle caring gesture, Maggie knew in that moment she was acting like a bitch and felt the heat rush to her cheeks ashamed. Beth was always small but had the biggest heart and she couldn't stay angry any longer, she had worked herself up into a frenzy and now all tired out Maggie slumps in surrender.

"Beth is ok, Carl is ok, we should be grateful everyone is safe" Glenn says gently rubbing Maggie's belly and feeling a kick.

"This one needs his Godmother around to watch him grow and watch out for him, back him up when we turn into out of control parents and Beth's my go to girl, we couldn't do any of this without her" Glenn smiles "See even you agree with me don't you?" Glenn talks to Maggie's belly and looks up and winks to Beth cheering her up.

_"__Dear Sweet Glenn"_ Beth thought, he always knew what to say at the right times. Maggie was lucky to have met Glenn, the Pizza Delivery Boy who got their order wrong all those years ago and gave them a free Pizza the following day. He had become besotted with the feisty Maggie Greene and in his madness he had stood up to an old boyfriend of hers and showed nobody messed with the girl of his affections and then the rest well, is history. It was cute, Glenn is the yin _(__delicate, soft-spoken and contemplative)_ to Maggie's yang (hot, bright, loud, firm and excessive) and at times they'd switch but Glenn was always the soft soothing one out of the two. The two opposites complemented and fit perfectly together as a couple.

Beth lost in admiring the qualities of her brother-in-law, remembers hearing the announcement she is to be Godmother, she looks down shocked to a grinning Glenn who knew she'd finally clocked on. Beth didn't know they had decided, she always thought Glenn's sisters would be chosen as Godparents, they were older and responsible but they'd chosen her! this was big! Herschel sits in his chair watching his daughters with a smile on his face waiting to see Beth's reaction and it was just as he imagined, the worried look she wore on her face when he had walked in had dissolved into a full beam to Maggie who was beaming back showing her teeth.

They can then hear Shawn ordering Amy about giving strict orders to follow and to run everything past him and they roll their eyes, Shawn had "OCD" as Amy phrased it when it came to his sisters and how things are to be done. Amy's big smile was replaced with a tight fake smile she gave to annoying patient's relatives, clearly being irritated by Shawn. When he pushed his luck, she remembers that he's not some stranger and she swats his hand every time he reaches for the chart and gives him a verbal warning that included a few curse words which she said under her breath so only Shawn could hear.

"Good girls don't use that type of language" Shawn reprimands Amy holding her arm and pulling her towards him staring down at her.

"Yes they fuckin' do, I'm warnin' you Shawn, you might find yourself bein' pushed in a wheelchair down the elevator shaft if you don't stop!" Amy says wagging her finger in Shawn's face who looks amused letting her go.

Amy blushes seeing the amusement in his eyes makes her escape flipping her hair in his face and rushes into the room going over fluffing Beth's pillow and giving her a kiss whilst Shawn leans by the doorway watching Amy take care of his precious little sister.

"It's like Days of Our Lives in here, we don't even need to turn the TV on," Glenn laughs and Herschel nods along being entertained by his children.

"Well it's getting late and I need to be up early if I'm going to catch my flight in the morning, c'mon Mags" Glenn helps Maggie up and goes over to Beth.

"Thanks Glenn" Beth whispers and Glenn kisses Beth on her cheek.

"I love you Maggie" Beth says still holding on to Maggie's hand.

"I love you too…I'm sorry for before. Me and Glenn had already decided we want you and Shawn as Godparents, I need you around to fulfil that role Bethy, if anythin' happens to me or Glenn, I know this baby will be taken care of." Maggie says kissing Beth's head before leaving, she was beginning to regret her earlier words seeing her sister smiling up at her.

Beth looks over to her father who's been silent. She was speechless. He leans in cupping her hands in his.

"In many ways you're just like your momma, you know that. Maggie means well, she's worried for you and still sees you as the tiny girl with pigtails following her around all the time but she knows you're a grown woman and that's why she wants you to be around to help raise the baby and I need you around." He says leaning into their clasped hands.

"I am proud of you Beth, you know that. Everything you've done, everything you've accomplished and everything you go on to do next - follow your heart, do what you feel feels right but remember you're human and there are a lot of people here who love and need you as well." Herschel says peeking up giving a loving smile.

"Your momma and Zach are both looking down very proud of you."

Beth smiles thinking of them both in heaven.

Herschel watches Beth and couldn't be prouder than he has ever been. Every milestone in Beth's life was treasured to him and he could close his eyes and recount them all. She was a welcome surprise to him and his late wife and very wanted even at the age he was when the doctor had said they were expecting a baby. He remembers telling friends and family, most of them were shocked but he was over the moon as were Annette, Maggie and Shawn. Beth had come along and cemented the family together. He guessed that she was probably the reason why he was alive and kicking still even when his wife had died, keeping her mother's spirit alive.

There was still that pain in his heart for his youngest and he couldn't hide the sadness he feels either but tries to cover it well so she couldn't see it. The cruelty of life didn't leave her alone. She didn't get her love and as they say the first cut is the deepest. He prayed that one day, she'd allow somebody worthy in and let them love her and she love them back in return. Love had a way of sneaking into the heart without realising and if you were lucky, it lasted a lifetime and that was what he wanted for Beth, not second best but the best is what she deserved.

"Beth Promise me, if you ever feel like you can't handle anything, you'll let me in, never think you're alone, you never have to go through anythin' alone, you understand. I don't think I could handle it if anything happened to you. You, Maggie and Shawn are the lights in my life, if anythin' happened to any one of you, my light would burn out!" he kisses her hands.

"Daddy" she sits up crossing her legs and hugging him "you sentimental old fool!" and he gives out a laugh remembering his wife used to call him that.

"How can I feel alone, when I have my family and friends?"

Herschel agrees and they sit together in silence but Beth's mind keeps returning to Carl.

"Daddy, do you know how Carl is? is he ok?" Beth finally asks.

"The little boy is fine, with his father at home, you don't need to worry honey." Hershel reassures Beth and she nods.

"How…how is Deputy Grimes?" she asks and Hershel notices the worry in the way she asks about the deputy whose clearly on her mind as she looks deep in thought.

Beth remembered how worried and worked up Rick got about the incident in school, there was definitely a lot going on inside Carl's head and she can only imagine Rick's reaction and the aftershock he's going to have after they spoke the other day. Carl was the most important person in Rick's life and if anything was to happen to him, Beth didn't want to know what Rick would do, it's frightening to think of someone so strong knowing what to do and then anything to do with their own loved one, it knocks them for six, vulnerability can make you do and say things unimaginable, she knew first hand. She wanted to make sure Rick knew he wasn't alone in this, none of this is his fault, he blamed himself too much, he and Carl desperately need to talk it out with help before it all spirals out and becomes something more.

"He and Carl are doin' fine, I just left them. How you doin' beside that nasty bump on your head?" Shane asks walking into the room

Beth and Hershel look towards the door seeing a welcoming smile on Shane's face

"I'm fine, the doctor said I can go home, this is all procedure with head bumps" Beth points to the dressing on her head.

"You're coming back home to the farm until your better, you've been discharged" Shawn interrupts following Shane back into the room.

"Erh…I've got work tomorrow" Beth laughs "There's no way I can make the journey back and forth"

"Your Principle called in to check on you and said you've been signed off a few days to be on the safe side."

"I've only been there for a few weeks it's not gonna look good" Beth cut in

"Honey, you've had a terrible blow to your head, better you rest and once you're one hundred percent, you can go back to work, listen to your Principle, your brother, they know what they're talking about."

"Few days Bethy and I'll even walk you to school like the old days" Shawn smiles

Seeing the concern on her brother's face and that smile reminding her of when they were kids, she gives in and agrees.

"Fine - you win!" Beth replies much to Hershel, Shawn and Shane's delight.

"Great, so do you guys need a ride home?" Shane asks

"We're good, we really appreciate you checkin' in on Beth, thank you." Hershel says patting Shane on the shoulder and Shane waves them a good night.

"Deputy Walsh!" Beth calls out and Shane turns looking at Beth.

"Say hi to Carl and Rick for me and that I'll see them soon – tell Rick… there's always light after the dark, it'll all be ok." She hopes Shane would pass the message on.

Shane smiles nodding and before he leaves he replies to Beth;

"Call me Shane, friends round here go by first names – good night y'all" and then he leaves.

Beth was pleasantly surprised, Shane did actually have a soft side to him. She was beginning to see a different side of Shane, possibly the Shane, Rick talked about she never saw until today. There is a decent man behind that barbarian exterior who is now a… friend. Amy is not goin' to like this Beth thought and laughs to herself.

* * *

><p>Shane turns up at Ricks a little after 8pm letting himself in the backdoor to the kitchen. Daryl was at the stove cooking steaks. He looked the same as Shane felt.<p>

"He up and talkin?" Shane asks

Daryl shakes his head no and Shane takes his belt off placing it on top of the fridge. He makes his way to the living room and stops to look in. Rick was sitting on the sofa with a scotch in hand staring at the TV. Shane takes a look to see that there were only fuzzy lines on the screen. He takes a seat next to Rick and switches the TV off. Rick remains seated as he was and Shane takes the tumbler out of his hand and takes a large swig leaning back into the sofa pulling a face from the burning sensation as it hits at the back of his throat. Daryl walks in wiping his hands on a towel and throws it over his shoulder taking a seat on the chest of drawers opposite them. They all just sit there in silence waiting for Rick to talk. The only noise in the room is the ticking of the clock.

"Where is she? Why is she doin' this? If she wants to hurt me, fine but she's hurtin' Carl in the process." Rick finally speaks

Both Shane and Daryl look over at Rick.

"Dunno man, nobody knows what goes through Lori's mind" Shane says looking at the tumbler in his hand debating whether to drink the rest.

"Its likes she's completely vanished – doesn't she care?" Rick says

"Rick, it's time to stop lookin' for her, she doesn't want to be found, you just need to tell Carl that…she's just gone. You can't promise him that she'll come back, it'll only disappoint him if she never does" Daryl says quietly from his own experience only his mother died and he knew she was never comin' back but as a kid he put some false hope into himself that one day she would and it was more damage than comfort and no kid needed to go through that growing up.

Rick reluctantly agreed. He'll have tell Carl the truth, Lori was gone and he doesn't know when and if she's coming back. Shane hands the tumble to Rick to swallow the rest for dutch courage but Rick refuses, he needed to be sober when he spoke to Carl so Shane throws back the last mouthful.

"Beth asked me to pass on a message to you" Shane says putting the tumbler down on the coffee table, Rick looks to Shane wanting to know what.

_"__There's always light after the dark, it'll all be ok" _

Rick watches Shane's lips move saying the words "I think she's right, things have been pretty shit, time to forget about Lori and move on whilst you can"

Rick repeats the words over and over in his mind.

The Sheriff had turned up to show his support. Rick didn't want any special treatment and had carried on with all his duties as normal only having to cut back a few hours a week until he arranged suitable care for Carl. He felt guilty for asking as it meant some of the other guys would have to take on the extra hours. The Sheriff cut Rick off, he pointed out that he's covered countless times and done more than his share of overtime over the years, they were a family and they pull together in times like these, he'd do the same if it was one of the other guys and he would. The talk from the wise man had knocked some sense into him - that he couldn't do it all alone and it had been enough for Rick to agree and take the offer put to him and he was grateful for The Sheriff's support and understanding.

* * *

><p>Rick walks into the room and Carl is laying in his bed looking out the window. Rick lays down beside him and wipes Carl's hair out of his eyes. They both lay there looking out of the window at the moon.<p>

"Moms not comin' back is she?" Carl asks

Rick looks at him and kisses him on the head.

"I don't think so"

"She doesn't love us anymore!" Carl whispers

"Hey, mom loves you, she always has and always will, you need to remember that, don't ever think she doesn't."

Carl listens and Rick continues..

"Mom needs time to herself and one day when she's ready, I don't know when, she'll come back and if she doesn't, then we just have to carryon and get on with life, Life doesn't stop and we shouldn't either, we have to move with it" Rick explains "But with everythin' that has happened, I know mom loves you, it probably doesn't feel like it but she does."

"Will you and mom get back together if she comes back?" Carl asks softly

Rick didn't need to think about the answer to this question, he'd made up his mind that night months ago. This was only making his case stronger that he'd made the right choice. He and Lori were over a long time ago and they would never be able to go back to where they were, too much has happened, the damage was irreversible, the only thing remained for was the divorce to be finalised and neither would be a burden to the other anymore. A burden, something he hated to admit but that's what they'd become to each other at the end, they tolerated each other for Carl's sake and if Lori turned up, he'd allow her to see Carl for Carl's sake but he'd never allow her back into their family like they once were. It's a decision he's not making lightly, time and time again he blamed himself but no more.

"No," he sighed "me and your mom won't be gettin' back together. We both made our minds up a long time ago. You remember how much we fought and how much we both hurt each other, how much our fightin' upset you?" Rick says watching Carl choosing his words carefully but being as honest as he ever could be.

"I can't do that anymore, that was not healthy, it's not fair on you, not fair on your mom and it's not fair on me." Rick finally admitted never once thought of himself before.

"I love your mom but not like how I used to," Rick says looking at the family snaps on Carl's wall of the three of them at different events "she was a huge part of my life, she gave me good memories and she gave me you," he says looking down at Carl and Carl looks up listening "_but I'm not in love with her anymore and neither is she with me_. We don't love each other like we used to and I've finally accepted it and I hope one day you'll accept and respect my decision but with all that said, that doesn't change the love we have for you, that how much I love you, that's always gonna stay the same, you understand that?"

Carl nods taking in every word and hesitates before asking, it's been on his mind.

"You're never gonna leave me dad, are you? Mom said she never would but she did"

Rick doesn't know why but he begins to laugh and Carl looks up to see what was funny about the question confused and he sees his dad clear his throat and look seriously at him, the stare that told Carl he was dead serious and that he could be trusted and was his promise, if he had anything, it was his word and his word meant everything.

"You think I would survive without you? You think I would ever contemplate leaving you? NEVER, so long as I am living and breathing, I will never leave you!" and they lay together quietly.

Rick's face softens and he pulls Carl closer and pulls his nose "I'd have to be abducted by aliens for that to ever happen!" Carl giggles at that and hugs Rick.

"I think it would be good for us both to talk more, to each other and maybe someone who can listen when we find it hard to express things to each other…like things you want to say but have a hard time tryin' to explain." Rick explains

Carl looks at Rick not sure what he means

"We've both had it tough this past year and these last months have been the hardest. We've both been havin' a hard time to talk about our feelings and we've been pushing our problems away. I'm the biggest culprit out of both of us…but sometimes it's easier to talk to someone who's got experience in dealing with situations like ours. There's no shame or embarrassment to admit you need help – we need help. Miss Greene has given me a number to a very good Psychiatrist and I think we should give them a chance to help us...what do you say?

"Can Miss Greene come with us?" Carl asks and Rick thinks

"If Miss Greene has the time, I'll ask her."

Carl turns and looks at the moon

"Do you think mom's lookin' at the moon right now and thinking of me?" Carl asks Rick

"I'm not sure, maybe, it would be pretty hard not to."

"Dad?"

"Yes Carl?"

"I love you."

"I love you too." Rick whispers back

Feeling like they'd made a huge step in the right direction, Rick kisses Carl on the head and they watch the moon break through the dark cloud illuminating the sky beyond. Carl falls asleep feeling safe and secure as the moon's light shines down over them.

_"__There's always light after the dark, it'll all be ok"_ Rick whispers to Carl whose fallen asleep.

Rick holds on to this hope Beth is directing him to, he is using this as his strength and drive. First time in a long time, he feels there is a light at the end of a dark tunnel and every time he looks towards that end into the light, Beth is standing there, waving them to come towards her and seeing her smile, he allows himself to close in on her and close his eyes to rest, she was lulling him to sleep, to sleep and rest and forget about everything for a little while. She wanted him to feel nothing but safe and secure and the image his mind play when his eyes are shut, aid him making him feel so.

An hour passes and Shane pops into the room to check in on them both and walks over tapping Rick on the shoulder.

"Come down and have dinner, you haven't eaten all day, you need to keep your strength up" Shane says peering over at Carl. "He looks so peaceful, is he ok?"

Rick rubs his eyes seeing Shane lingering above him and nods. Carl was snuggled into him. He slowly gets up trying hard not to wake Carl covering him with the duvet cover and placing his soft cuddly bear in his arms. Rick looks down at Carl and feeling content that Carl wasn't going to wake up crying in the night, he slowly backs out of the room leaving the door ajar and with one last look, he follows Shane down to the kitchen where dinner is set on the table. Daryl hands over a beer and the three sit down waiting to tuck in to their food.

"I feel like we should say grace or somethin'?" Shane says looking down at his plate and then back up to Rick and Daryl.

Rick tilts his head arching his brows up looking at Shane from beneath his lashes and lets out a welcoming laugh, a smirk spreads across Daryl's face, his mouth turned up at the corners and he lets out a grunt and Shane, he bursts out laughing and they finally all relax. All three men sit reflecting. Shane reaches out his hand to Rick and Rick to Daryl. Daryl uncomfortable hesitates never comfortable with the touchy touchy side like Rick and Shane but nonetheless joins them and Shane proceeds to say grace, he hadn't done this since he lived with his parents all those years ago. He clears his throat..

"_Bless us, O Lord, and these, Thy gifts, which we are about to receive from Thy bounty. Through Christ, our Lord. Amen"_

_"__Amen" _they all say in unison and both Shane and Daryl tuck into their plates filled with food suddenly feeling famished after the long stressful day.

Rick watches them both, finally able to feel like things were moving in the right direction. He was beginning to feel happy, his family wasn't perfect, they had an unconventional setup but it was better than it had been in a long while. He was sitting down to dinner with his brothers and he enjoyed their company and Carl was safely tucked in his bed sound asleep with the reassurances that he had been looking for and they promised each other they were going to talk and no longer keep things bottled up.

There was just the aching feeling in his heart that one person was missing and he couldn't shake the feelings that he has been feeling, denying maybe for a while but today ignited that tiny flame higher that he had started to carry unknowingly. He strains to think when he had started to feel these feelings and he couldn't pin point exactly when these feelings turned from friendship to wanting something more. Daryl watches Rick whilst shoving food into his mouth, Rick noticing being caught in thought picks up his fork and takes a bite of his food wondering whether those feelings could ever be reciprocated or was he being foolish?

* * *

><p>So I clubbed together two chapters as I haven't been able to update since early in the year due to no Laptop and being busy at work. Sorry for any errors, I kind of rushed checking this to get it up, hopefully its ok?<p>

Updates will most likely be slower than normal due to hectic life right now but I hope to get some Rick and Beth time coming up in the next chapters…

Thanks x


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